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"there's no such thing as ghosts", i whisper into the ear of the spirit haunting my apartment, absolutely destroying that asshole's self-esteem
just a heads up that there's a recent Black Thought/Danger Mouse album out right now
cc: @gonzo
healyn
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Ted Cruz is possibly the least charismatic politician I've ever seen. The only reason he keeps getting reelected is because he's a big time hottie
healyn
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who the hell lives in delaware
healyn
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I forgot how good chairs feel
i don't blame Limp Bizkit for Woodstock '99. I only blame them for ruining "N 2 Gether Now", which should have only been a legendary DJ Premier and Method Man track
i don't want children, but if i had a couple, i would like them to look like nordic weirdos with almost translucent eyebrows
healyn
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mike from breaking bad voice: you gotta cum waltuh
to this day, i'm still getting sued for my role in Woodstock '99. vultures, the lot of them!
healyn
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my feet don't hurt as bad today. epic win for the Daveman
healyn
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[Mike Ehrmantraut walks into my bedroom w/ a silenced pistol in his hand as I’m jacking off]
Me: “Mike… please, not now. L-listen, this isn’t what it looks like”
Mike, pointing his gun at me: “Cum.”
healyn
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the problem with the federal universe is that as soon as you mute one scrappy Doo apologist like 8 more appear with intricate backstories that everyone's heard of for a decade
*fanning myself off like William Jennings Bryan*, well i do declare this is a swelterin' summer eve
*dying of a apoplexy like William Jennings Bryan* well i do declare, seems i have a case of the apoplexy
every restaurant i go to, i slip the host a fiver and whisper "fidelio", then give a knowing nod, and say, "you know what's up"
George Lucas truly has enough fuck you money to be like, "just name him Morph Murpo or something, i'm late for an Eyes Wide Shut orgy"
healyn
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healyn
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president xi my people yearn for freedom please reduce the entirety of washington dc to rubble and institute a communist dictatorship
healyn
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why am i being negged by mobile game ads to guillotine a bratty smiley face
healyn
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NY Post headline:
SAD CLOWNS
40 Circus Performers Dead in a Madison Square Garden Tesla Fire, As Children Look On
[Video]
he/him
my allpro.social account is @jetsmetsclown
Joined Aug 2018
