Design Tip of the Day: add a wall-mounted fleshlight to your living room to increase your home's property value

@healyn i feel like the bathroom or the bedroom would be maximum increased value, as opposed to living room. But you're the "expert", I guess

@ItsJenNotGabby this is for those times youre headed into the kitchen for a snack or whatever and wanna bang one out real quick. it's about practicality

@healyn @ItsJenNotGabby pretty sure the fleshlight would be more efficient in the kitchen in that case :blob_raccoon_coffee:

@demonsthenes13 @ItsJenNotGabby a fleshlight in the kitchen is a big time faux pas, just trust me

fleshlight with tongue and teeth 

@healyn @ItsJenNotGabby
not if it just looks like another mouth to feed :blob_raccoon_coffee:

fleshlight with tongue and teeth 

@demonsthenes13 @ItsJenNotGabby horrifying. i love it

@healyn @ItsJenNotGabby savvy homeowners install one in every room, you can hook them into the central vac system

@healyn I really can't think of a less sexy name for a sex toy... Yes I can. Petition to rename flashlights after Mitch McConnell.

@healyn Actually, this is brilliant. I want a flashlight modeled after Mitch McConnell's mouth. Complete with throat pouch.

@healyn wait I'm going to need to know the specific definitions of "living room" and "fleshlight" being used in this post

@ben all you need to know is you should pay me to be an interior designer

@healyn is this that Monty Python sketch where the people go into the house and then there's a burping sound

@healyn why choose between family dinner and That Nut? mount one to the underside of the dining table

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