HERZOG (upon seeing Baby Yoda): I should not expect to see a more beautiful creature. the existence of Baby Yoda is proof of the existence of God. I am crying

HERZOG (upon seeing Chewbacca): Life is but a cruel game. There can be no God. No God would allow this hairy, indifferent beast, with the eyes of Satan himself

@healyn Werner Herzog's Star Wars character name is Werner Herzog.

@healyn Darth Vader, looking over the bounty hunters: I want General Solo brought to me alive. NO disintegrations:
Werner Herzog: We all disintegrate. Human life starts as ash in the womb of our mothers and ends as ash in the womb of Mother Earth, yet both women are uncaring of our fates, lost in the twine of their own failures to prevent our deaths before we have a chance to suffer alongside them.
Darth Vader: uh what

@breakfastgolem @healyn There is no voice funnier to read things in than Werner Herzog's.

@Colophonscrawl @healyn I imagine Werner Herzog at the Arby's drive-thru, ordering more food than he could possibly eat.

@breakfastgolem @healyn I want to see Werner Herzog in a cage match with Alejandro Jodorowsky but by the time they finished their introductions, the time slot for the match would have been run out

@breakfastgolem @healyn Herzog: "As the wheel of time itself powers the ceaseless millstone of our lives, so too will my time in this match be your inevitable demise. As the Americans say, my grits are yours to kiss."
Jodorowsky: "Is this not the very spirit of the young and excitable child? Wild, destructive, heedless of sense, but fundamentally welded to the very wellspring of creativity. Yes, yes, I embrace this holy single moment, the eternal now of kicking your ass!"

@healyn @Colophonscrawl "Turn left. Your destination is on the right. Death is the final destination we all take, our journey to oblivion unheeded by the ceaseless cries and screams we mewl without regard. There is traffic ahead."

@JohnBrownJr is this one of those things where you call your dick "lumpy" and it's just an excuse to post another dick pic?

@healyn @JohnBrownJr I disagree. valid to be worth keeping around just for the scenery

@healyn no lumpy is chewie’s kid. off you saw it u would not be saying this about chewie. chewie’s cursedness is a candle to lumpy’s sun.

@JohnBrownJr i haven't watched the mandalorian because i refuse to subscribe to disney+ out of principle*

*i don't know how to and don't care to learn how to

@healyn what. god no. disney plus my dick. watch the original Star Wars Holiday Special that aired before empire came out. before disney ruined the franchise

@JohnBrownJr jesus fucking christ...Itchy and Lumpy. i'm sorry, did they say Jefferson Starship?

@healyn there’s an incredible cartoon segment that introduces the character boba fett for the very first time

@alexbuzzbee i cant speak for werner herzog, but i'd be cool with it

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