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whenever i'm suspicious about someone, i go to the local library and scroll through microfiche to determine that they have a dark past

@healyn Is it framed as a montage where you pull a large book with "Brookhaven Public Records of Note 1976-1978" written on the spine and where you circle news articles with a highlighter?

@breakfastgolem wait a second. my new neighbor, with whom i've shared beers, used to live in this town? and their entire family of four perished in a tractor accident 26 years ago???

@healyn (me, scrolling intensely through microfiche when I find the clue) My god...

@healyn you’re so full of shit, there’s no way your local library still has a fiche reader

@neoncoughh sometimes i have to go out of town, in case i'm being trailed

@healyn ha..ha.. nothing suspicious in my past. i can assure you of that. any headlines mentioning a mysterious circus explosion are clearly about someone else....

@Taweret i was about to dig into this until you came clean about the circus explosion not being about you

@healyn its clearly not about me. i mean, where would i even get a life-sized clown made of c4?

@Taweret when you say it like that, it's ridiculous that i even had any suspicions

@Taweret @healyn Oh hey so this totally reminds me how coincidentally my family was killed a circus explosion and I swore vengeance on whoever did it.

@breakfastgolem @healyn good thing it wasn't me. being mentioned in the ring master's will is purely coincidental

@healyn @Taweret you're so vain
you probably think this circus explosion is about you

@healyn I love going to the library and exclaiming when I figure out the terrifying truth and then being shushed by librarians.

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