It's true. And it's not just true because, as another tweet I saw said, "I know of over a dozen cis women who, in the last year, have been challenged in toilets, all of them were either butch, not white, or had disabilities, and as such did not fit the idea of what a woman "should" look like."

Transphobes make me less safe in this way: I am two of those three things. I haven't been confronted but I do have to consider this in loos.

But it's not just about them being a threat to groups I personally fall into.

Transphobes are rarely just transphobes. Bigotries are herd animals, you rarely find one alone. Many prominent TERFs and similar are also racist af, they're xenophobic, my autistic husband is aware of them as Autism Speaks types who want a "cure." There's a lot of overlap with them and men's rights activists.

They are not safe for anyone.

It should be bad enough that they're transphobic, but for a lot of people it's not. Not yet, anyway.

I hate that cis women's feelings, white women's feelings, are given priority over more marginalized people's safety and lives but if that's the world I'm stuck living in, I'm gonna tell everyone that I feel safe about trans women and I don't feel safe around transphobes.

I'm still not sure about this as a tactic, don't know if I've got the right balance of de-centering myself in favor of more marginalized people, vs using my privilege for good.

I want to be a microphone rather than to talk over the people whose voices aren't allowed to be as strong. And part of that is learning not to be defensive if I get it wrong, not to take things personally or think it's enough that I have good intentions.

@hollyamory This seems entirely appropriate to me (transgirl here).

What would be especially useful is if I had a link to your tweet -- nay, a page with a *collection* of links to tweets or other public posts in which ciswomen state their positions on the matter -- so that we can show them to TERFs and other pseudo-feminists who claim to speak for all ciswomen.

(Will be happy to do the collecting.)

@woozle
That's a great idea. Here's the link to mine: https://twitter.com/hollyamory/status/1004747853745582080

And some of the replies to that are other cis women agreeing or saying similar things you might find useful.

@woozle
And I'm not spending a lot of time on twitter any more, but if I see anything else that would qualify I'm happy to send you a link for it if you'd like.

@hollyamory Yes please! ^.^

@hollyamory I'd feel borderline unsafe around transphobes after some of the harassment I've had from them on birdsite, and I'm a white middle class non-disabled cis man. I'd be terrified around them if I was most other people, I think. :(

@hollyamory Can I quote these great statements everywhere? I have an old friend who lately has been flirting with transphobic feminism and comments like these may just be the thing to stop them. I wouldn't mention your name, just "a friend who is a cisgender woman" or something like that.

@Reinderdijkhuis
You're very welcome to! If you want to show her the tweet(s) directly (other cis women are agreeing and etc which might help but of course that's your call!) the link is https://twitter.com/hollyamory/status/1004747853745582080

And if she has any more nonsense you want help refuting, I can probably find resources to help you (especially relating to the UK, but also generally).

@hollyamory Yep. Saw SO much of this on a Famous Fem. Space back in the day. 1 day, the worst radfem on there decided to toss out an Anti-Semitic slur. The fallout ended w/her ass getting to stay on the board while everyone who objected to her endless horrid behavior got ejected. (Including Yours Truly, who'd already quit the space a week or so prior, b/c... y'know nothing says "good modding" like banning a poster who's already gone.)

@hollyamory I'm 6' tall, I don't wear makeup, and I have PCOS which means I sometimes have a beard shadow, you bet I worry about bathrooms.

I haven't been confronted yet, but I've had some pretty strange looks. I suspect the "6' tall" part is the only reason I haven't had actual confrontations. That and the silver ring splints, which some people mistake for knuckle dusters.

@hollyamory
So, yeah, I'd much rather share a loo -- or any other space -- with trans women than with transphobes.

@artsyhonker
Oh yeah, I've got sideburns because of PCOS. :) And a nearly-shaved head, and often androgynous clothes. And I've got weird body language because of being partially sighted.

Having to monitor people's body language and facial expression for potential hostility to me is extra fun when I can't see. :)

@hollyamory Argh, that's not good. It's really bad that any of us have to think about this at all. Obviously worse for trans women, all other things being equal, but still really not great.

@hollyamory @artsyhonker One of my best friends is a trans woman, she is tall af and people notice that she is trans, I have had to put myself in front of her like a tiny 5'2 shield against people who were curious or "unknowingly" aggressive and didn't seem to think they were doing anything wrong until a cis woman told them they were being gross.

@hollyamory @artsyhonker And every time I do so I make a point to say that I am not speaking on behalf of my friend, I am saying you are making my situation gross now, you are rude/hurtful and _I_ don't like this.

Cis women need to not only stand up for trans people, but for their own sense of what is right in our community.