**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 05:53

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 05:53

Holly @hollyamory

Jun 09, 2018, 05:53

A shockingly pleasant experience confronting transphobia on birdsite Show more

The other day a friend shard her repsonse a tweet that was something about cis women being so different from trans women that sometimes "we" (cis women) "need a space just for us."

So I replied "I, a cis woman, can't think of ANY time I've EVER "needed a space just for us."

I want to share women's spaces with trans women, not transphobes. Transphobes make the world less safe; trans women don't."

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 05:57

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 05:57

Jun 09, 2018, 05:57

Holly @hollyamory

A shockingly pleasant experience confronting transphobia on birdsite Show more

Now that tweet has a ton more likes and RTs than mine usually do (especially because I'm hardly on birdsite any more), and even better a ton of nice replies: other cis women vehemently agreeing, trans woman saying thank you, I even got a DM from a stranger thanking me, jokes (at transphobes' expense), kindness, minor misunderstandings being cleared up and apologized for. All so civil and supportive. It's been great.

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:01

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:01

Jun 09, 2018, 06:01

Holly @hollyamory

A shockingly pleasant experience confronting transphobia on birdsite Show more

And, perhaps best of all, it took 24 hours for transphobes to turn up (that I can see anyway, I guess twitter is shadowbanning more of them now, which is awesome). Both of course predictable and boring and easily shooed away. Even the few tweets I made to them have likes and good replies now! Weird!

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:05

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:05

Jun 09, 2018, 06:05

Holly @hollyamory

A shockingly pleasant experience confronting transphobia on birdsite Show more

What becomes (relatively) popular on social media is sort of random but I think I stumbled on a good theme here too.

It always drives me crazy that the transphobes who think they're feminists try to claim to speak for all cis women.

I as a cis woman have the power to say not just "you don't" but "you're more threatening to my safety than any amount of trans people."

That latter seemed to resonate with people.

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:11

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:11

Jun 09, 2018, 06:11

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

It's true. And it's not just true because, as another tweet I saw said, "I know of over a dozen cis women who, in the last year, have been challenged in toilets, all of them were either butch, not white, or had disabilities, and as such did not fit the idea of what a woman "should" look like."

Transphobes make me less safe in this way: I am two of those three things. I haven't been confronted but I do have to consider this in loos.

**Holly** @hollyamory · 2018-06-09T06:20:28Z

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

But it's not just about them being a threat to groups I personally fall into.

Transphobes are rarely just transphobes. Bigotries are herd animals, you rarely find one alone. Many prominent TERFs and similar are also racist af, they're xenophobic, my autistic husband is aware of them as Autism Speaks types who want a "cure." There's a lot of overlap with them and men's rights activists.

They are not safe for anyone.

Jun 09, 2018, 06:20 · Mastalab · 2 · 14

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:23

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:23

Jun 09, 2018, 06:23

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

It should be bad enough that they're transphobic, but for a lot of people it's not. Not yet, anyway.

I hate that cis women's feelings, white women's feelings, are given priority over more marginalized people's safety and lives but if that's the world I'm stuck living in, I'm gonna tell everyone that I feel safe about trans women and I don't feel safe around transphobes.

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:55

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 06:55

Jun 09, 2018, 06:55

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

I'm still not sure about this as a tactic, don't know if I've got the right balance of de-centering myself in favor of more marginalized people, vs using my privilege for good.

I want to be a microphone rather than to talk over the people whose voices aren't allowed to be as strong. And part of that is learning not to be defensive if I get it wrong, not to take things personally or think it's enough that I have good intentions.

**Woozle Hypertwin** @woozle@toot.cat · Jun 09, 2018, 14:15

**Woozle Hypertwin** @woozle@toot.cat · Jun 09, 2018, 14:15

Jun 09, 2018, 14:15

Woozle Hypertwin @woozle@toot.cat

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@hollyamory This seems entirely appropriate to me (transgirl here).

What would be especially useful is if I had a link to your tweet -- nay, a page with a *collection* of links to tweets or other public posts in which ciswomen state their positions on the matter -- so that we can show them to TERFs and other pseudo-feminists who claim to speak for all ciswomen.

(Will be happy to do the collecting.)

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:16

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:16

Jun 09, 2018, 15:16

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@woozle
That's a great idea. Here's the link to mine: https://twitter.com/hollyamory/status/1004747853745582080

And some of the replies to that are other cis women agreeing or saying similar things you might find useful.

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:22

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:22

Jun 09, 2018, 15:22

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@woozle
And I'm not spending a lot of time on twitter any more, but if I see anything else that would qualify I'm happy to send you a link for it if you'd like.

**Woozle Hypertwin** @woozle@toot.cat · Jun 09, 2018, 15:47

**Woozle Hypertwin** @woozle@toot.cat · Jun 09, 2018, 15:47

Jun 09, 2018, 15:47

Woozle Hypertwin @woozle@toot.cat

cis women helping to confront transphobes Show more

@hollyamory Yes please! ^.^

**Jubal Barca** @JubalBarca@mastodon.at · Jun 09, 2018, 14:22

**Jubal Barca** @JubalBarca@mastodon.at · Jun 09, 2018, 14:22

Jun 09, 2018, 14:22

Jubal Barca @JubalBarca@mastodon.at

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@hollyamory I'd feel borderline unsafe around transphobes after some of the harassment I've had from them on birdsite, and I'm a white middle class non-disabled cis man. I'd be terrified around them if I was most other people, I think. :(

**Reinder Dijkhuis** @Reinderdijkhuis · Jun 09, 2018, 14:47

**Reinder Dijkhuis** @Reinderdijkhuis · Jun 09, 2018, 14:47

Jun 09, 2018, 14:47

Reinder Dijkhuis @Reinderdijkhuis

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@hollyamory Can I quote these great statements everywhere? I have an old friend who lately has been flirting with transphobic feminism and comments like these may just be the thing to stop them. I wouldn't mention your name, just "a friend who is a cisgender woman" or something like that.

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:43

**Holly** @hollyamory · Jun 09, 2018, 15:43

Jun 09, 2018, 15:43

Holly @hollyamory

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@Reinderdijkhuis
You're very welcome to! If you want to show her the tweet(s) directly (other cis women are agreeing and etc which might help but of course that's your call!) the link is https://twitter.com/hollyamory/status/1004747853745582080

And if she has any more nonsense you want help refuting, I can probably find resources to help you (especially relating to the UK, but also generally).

**🐚 ms_xenophora 🐚** @amylsacks · Jun 10, 2018, 01:06

**🐚 ms_xenophora 🐚** @amylsacks · Jun 10, 2018, 01:06

Jun 10, 2018, 01:06

🐚 ms_xenophora 🐚 @amylsacks

Maybe a suggestion of how cis women can confront transphobes Show more

@hollyamory Yep. Saw SO much of this on a Famous Fem. Space back in the day. 1 day, the worst radfem on there decided to toss out an Anti-Semitic slur. The fallout ended w/her ass getting to stay on the board while everyone who objected to her endless horrid behavior got ejected. (Including Yours Truly, who'd already quit the space a week or so prior, b/c... y'know nothing says "good modding" like banning a poster who's already gone.)