iris @ibull@mastodon.social

my partner and i have been at a loss since season 2 as to why people don't seem to like this show. now that I've seen the finale, I wonder if that affinity has anything to do with her journey as a queer woman. honestly had no idea the animated show would end on that note.

and it did not help that i failed today to troubleshoot the indexing problem I've been having since Day 1 with Windows 10. I cannot figure out how to get the search function to recall any of my pdfs. I've double checked and rebuilt the index registry 3 times. thought I figured it out after repairing some corrupt file associated with the registry too. but after some fancy admin command line magic, still nothing. argh.

i think i had my first mild panic attack today.

i think it came on after giving myself an unrealistic ultimatum.

15 minutes of deep breathing and stepping away from the machine helped. settling into my old routines and ignoring the threat of another missed deadline helped. going back to an uncompromising attitude of selfcare-first helped.

normally I would be exceedingly happy with 1k+ really good words, but today it needed to be closer to 2k.

watching the nintendo direct with my loved one, whose hype for SSBU knows no bounds.

my heart is racing after that episode

oh man it's been such a long damn day i just need to relax and get sleepy after getting a late sandwich
i'll just put on the bri-ish baking show semifinal, that should be fun

45 minutes later: oh my god! the cracks! the cracks! *gaspppps* 😭

most recent season is turning out not as bad as i thought it would be (3 more episodes to go though), but seriously "not worth the calories" is literally the fatphobic rhetoric i get in the toxic inner circle of my immediate and extended family and i wish every time someone said it on the show i could scream "fuck off" loud enough to break the time-space continuum.

the first episode of the new season of british bake off is a real mixed bag for me. a veiled fatphobic comment in the first few minutes. persistent focus on the newfound difficulty of tasks is hella triggering for me as an educator -- some of these folks are literally shaking with anxiety and they are being asked to do incredibly difficult tasks. i dont know how much prep the bakers get for the show, but i have never seen a season where someone didn't struggle to learn the ovens

I have to wait until November 8 to see an OBGYN in Bloomington, Indiana.

NOVEMBER
8TH
WAS THE
EARLIEST
THEY
COULD
FIT
ME
IN

I don't know if I can live with pain level 5 everyday for that long. Thinking about trying to book another appointment at a clinic ~45 min drive from me, but haven't checked to see if they have more recent availability yet 😭