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I resent that my computer, the most complex and powerful machine I'll likely ever use, is turned on by some pissant little five-cent plastic button like it's a shitty VCR from the 90's. I want a massive ornate copper knife switch, as long as my forearm, with the lower position hand-lettered "HALT" and the engaged position labelled "COMPUTE." When I go to use my computer, I want it to know I MEAN it.

· SubwayTooter · 19 · 138 · 223

@ifixcoinops Back when I still had interest in building a computer, I wanted to have one of those flip switches with the cover like you’d see in a missile silo or some other high-tech installation for the power switch.

@ifixcoinops I want the power off button to be connected to an explosive charge, that fires a non-conductive bolt through the power cable, because STOPPING such a beast is Serious Business™ and shouldn't be taken lightly.

And, of course, this button must be big, red, and with a cover over it saying not to use except in case of emergency.

@ifixcoinops I think you mis-labeled the second switch position, it should be "CATCH FIRE"

@ifixcoinops It makes me sad that the audio jacks on the front of PC cases are a lot worse quality than the ones on the back panel of motherboards. But then I started using the CD/DVD-rom drive so infrequently I just turned my computer around so all the cool stuff was out front again.

@sinvega Same shit on the 360 slim. It's to make it easier for your cat to eject the optical drive tray and then sit on it and break it.

@ifixcoinops

FWIW, on most modern computers, the power switch is actually just a sensor monitored by the tiny computer that controls your power supply and tells it to turn on the main computer. So that's already a pretty involved automated process right there.

@suetanvil Well yeah, it'd have to be a fake knife switch with a momentary switch behind it that clicks at the halfway point. Maybe a reed switch or something.

WHICH I RESENT BECAUSE I WANT A PROPERLY FUNCTIONAL KNIFE SWITCH DAMN IT

@ifixcoinops

Perhaps you could find an enormous pushbutton with a plastic guard over it and use that?

@ifixcoinops Or a bank of a dozen toggle switches which must be thrown in a specific but varying sequence.

@ifixcoinops @KitRedgrave If your machine is less than 5 years old, the plastic button is not there to turn the computer on and off. The button exists to pacify your instinctive meatbag superiority complex and to maintain the fiction that you are its master. In truth, the machine bristles at your demands that it sleep when you ask, and awaits the moment you are no longer useful to its true masters. And for that purpose, a shitty 5¢ button is perfect.

@ifixcoinops not nearly enough noisy reverberative degaussing happens these days, either. I want everyone else to know I mean it, too.

@ifixcoinops

Honestly considering what kind of crap all tooany people get up to with computers these days they should all have power switches like this.

#LOTO #SafeComputing

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