Apparently there was a transformer meltdown in New York last night. The whole sky lit up bright blue and social media went straight to aliens - when my wife showed me the video I started gibbering "Ooh, big fault! Arcing! BIG FAULT!"

So to understand this news, and to understand why this is so rare, and to understand the post-19th Century world in general, how DOES a transformer work, anyway? Well...

@ifixcoinops

> to understand this news, and to understand why this is so rare, and to understand the post-19th Century world in general

TOO MUCH

CAN I PLEASE UNDERSTAND MY BREAKFAST CEREAL FIRST

(<3 jk)

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@sydneyfalk reciprocal <3 but also on the subject of breakfast cereals OMG WHY ARE AMERICAN CORNFLAKES SO BAD. The Kellogg's in the UK is fine and I assumed the same brand would be good in the US too, but they're DREADFUL! They're tasteless and gritty like the nastiest 30p-a-box supermarket own brand crap. I have to buy the expensive organic cornflakes from Trader Joe's to get what I'd consider bog-standard Kellogg's quality. HOW IS THIS HARD I THOUGHT CORN WAS AMERICAN

· SubwayTooter · 1 · 0 · 1

@ifixcoinops

because this is the United States, we have a film to explain

you see, Road To Wellness was a historical documentary, and John Cusack invented corn flakes by accident purely to make money after vilifying masturbation, and

...

okay, so the important part is that you have to remember the United States is basically shite start to finish, and if our elected representatives can get extra money for letting corn flakes have lead or asbestos in them they will, because

money money money

@ifixcoinops

also corn isn't even natural, IIRC humans selectively mutated some wheat or shit to make this absurd joke of a plant that is admittedly pretty tasty on the cob with butter and salt but happens to be an abomination of nature

like humans

see how all the pieces fit together? is the puzzle clearer yet?

@ifixcoinops

Narrator: Sydney did not realize the puzzle was not a puzzle, she simply had no idea what was going on -- like most United States citizens. She thought it might sound clever. It did not.

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@sydneyfalk @ifixcoinops Absurd joke? Abomination? Just wondering if you are kidding or serious.
Maize/corn was developed from Teosinte by selective breeding over thousands of years by early Mesoamericans.
Why is that worse than natural selection by environmental changes or the activities of other animals (e.g. insects have greatly affected the evolution of some plant species) Why does the involvement of humans make it an abomination?

@leadore @ifixcoinops

I was indeed making a corn joke, I do not believe in the cornspiracy nor do I advocate for cornvestigations

@sydneyfalk Good to know. 😅 I'm someone who usually requires a sarcasm tag. At first I did think you were joking but then I wasn't so sure.

@ifixcoinops

@leadore @ifixcoinops

Perfectly fine! ^_^ I often have difficulties with detecting sarcasm myself. Also, I will often post additional disclaimers if I'm injecting into a conversation where people don't know me well, but I knew Dan would get that I was funnin', and that I could explain (or he could!) if it wasn't clear. <3 No worries!

@sydneyfalk Every time I come across a thing here that makes no sense I turn it around and around in my head trying to figure out why it is the way it is before I remember the whole "Shite from start to finish" bit and I go "AaaAAAaaah, yes, I remember now."

@sydneyfalk @ifixcoinops Sorry to be pedantic, but did you mean The Road to Wellville?

@sydneyfalk @starbreaker Wasn't there another film in the 90's called The Cornflake King or The Cornflakes Man or Mister Cornflakes or something?

@ifixcoinops @sydneyfalk Probably, given the copycats infesting Hollywood, but it isn't ringing any bells. However, "The Road to Wellville" dropped in 1994.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111001/
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