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not to be horny on main but i really want to hold someones hand

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honestly I would eat an Alexa and then change the trigger word to my name so people thought I knew things

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happy bi visibility day! remember to appreciate the bisexuals in your life by sending them a check for $1,000,000

When u forget what pocket ur phone is in and u start doing the macarena

I am supposed to be an adult but I don't even understand how to maintain a basic relationship

I am still not a 100% sure why people love john mulaney asides from the fact he is a popular comedian that doesn't use offensive humor

Petition to bring back 2005 emo culture in the 2020s so we can call that decade the rawring 20s

lol remember when all the Tumblr people came here and pretended that they would never leave and now 95% of them are gone

Me: *doesnt eat*

Stomach: *hurts*

Me: *eatS*

Stomach: *also hurts*

Me: ok u know what. fuck you

im a simple guy. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour

I just learned I can like do this human interaction thing not just online but like face to face and it's weird

it takes 5 million energy points to not shake my arms around in public

Stop telling kids the second their family says something lgbt intolerant that they hate them and they will never change.

Stop telling lgbt that all intolerance is a direct act of hate when it can be confusion.

Stop telling kids things that make them feel even worse about being lgbt.

Stop training lgbt kids to be mad at the world cuz things get a hell of a lot easier when you approach things will kindness.

hating the world and everyone in it is such a bad aesthetic

when you can't tell if your disinterest in social media is self improvement or depression

I am sorry mom I don't control when people post their uncensored porn on mastodon dot com

i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

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