Furry Throw Pillow is a user on mastodon.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

Furry Throw Pillow @indecisivetwat@mastodon.social

like & retoot if the girl on the right is as beautiful as the girl on the left

lewd Show more

This is actually a bald-faced lie; in fact, I'm actually fairly likely to eat things with a fork where normally people would use a spoon.

I'm sorry to have deceived you all.

I don't actually understand forks.

Like, in general, not just off of Mastodon.

I only ever learned how to use spoons as a child.

Announcing my new fork of Mastodon: Nerds Whomst Gay.

It's basically Mastodon, but only comprised of all the people you already have on your local timeline.

Lovecraft stared at the writhing mass of tentacles and wept at the horror of God not being made in his image, falling to his knees as the thought that Man might not be the absolute center of the universe drove him to madness...

A passing trans girl spotted the writhing mass of tentacles and thought to herself, "I wonder if I can have sex with that..."

Religion, intended as a play on words and not an opinion, but it's not like I don't realize what it sounds like... Show more

Two speeds: lewd and way too lewd. Show more

Oops, I probably shouldn't forget to eat.

lewd implied Show more

Oops. My partner got me into reading... (lewd) Show more

I have a whole quart of iced tea here though, so I'm good now.

I think some time around 8pm this evening, I forgot about my body's need for hydration.

And I'd been doing so good about it up to that point too...

Oh dear! I should take something for this headache.

Woops! I played FTL instead of engaging with life.

Weh, I've done so much repair work today that, judging by my hypnagogic imagery, tonight's dreams are gonna be about screwing things (but not in the usual fun way).

*works hard and diligently to fix something that everyone else has written off as too broken to use anymore*

*doesn't have the resources to actually make any use of the newly fixed thing*

Oh hey, look, it's a metaphor for my whole frickin' life.

Nevermind, I need more than just a stepladder...