Dream log: I fucking learned magic.
It was part ancient ritual, part new-agey energy channeling, taught to me by an old lady looking for a successor. There were a lot of books involved, a lot of complex hand gestures. At one point I was given a kitchen knife and told I had to scare the shit out of this super elderly mage; it didn't work, so I kissed him instead, figuring he'd be some transphobic old fuck, but THAT didn't work bc he actually was pretty nice and into it???
I learned so fast in the dream, it felt like second nature. I remember poring over warped, yellowing paperbacks from the sixties with weird illustrations of insects and chakras and ley lines. I learned how to change the shapes of objects, how to make them levitate, and how to tear open tesseracts to places both on this Earth and on others. I had to keep it all deathly secret though.
I woke up right before I learned how to shapeshift.
Sometimes the worst dreams are the ones you're enjoying.