*slaps top of Ted Cruz*

this bad boy can hold so many unsolved murders spanning the 60's to 70's!

@jackdaw_ruiz conspiracy theory: ted cruz killed the dog everyone thinks mike huckabee’s kid offed, and huckabee’s kid was the zodiac killer


. . . brb running out to WinCo for push pins and thread so we can get to mapping out just how deep this goes.

@ohtazer @voidsrus

i live strolling distance to a WinCo.

it placed a heavy thumb on the scale when i picked out this apartment some years back.

@hellofriend @jackdaw_ruiz @voidsrus first food stamps payment i got, i bought enough bulk dry goods to fill almost 20 8-16oz mason jars for like a buck or two each. i ate so well for nothing and it all lasted forever!! i miss it so much.


@ohtazer @hellofriend @voidsrus

you from Portland? the land o' Port? ol' Slabby-Stump Rose Beaver City?

@jackdaw_ruiz The conspiracy theory I hold to ironically was that while everyone was focused on Ted Cruz being a serial killer, Tim Kaine had a cabin he was skinning hitchhikers in.

young Tim Kaine is precisely the same kind of white dude handsome that Ted Bundy was.

@jackdaw_ruiz And he was so utterly boring during the campaign, you know something had to be wrong with him.

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