remember kids: "ufo" doesn't mean "alien spacecraft", it just means "unidentified flying object". anything in the sky can be a ufo if youre bad enough at identifying things

Is this a prank?? Which one of you is making up stuff on Wikipedia??

copyright, big publishers Show more

#Bioinformatics Hey! Dear Bioinformaticians and others Bioinfomagicians, I'm looking for anyone that could help me find someone who worked on #Illumina #iGenomes I'm trying to figure out scripts to redo that... It's an #SOStoTheWorld I hope that someone gets my #MessageInABottle

2019 is gonna be the year we:
- write better image captions!
- use clearer content warnings!
- speak more positively about ourselves!
- call each other out gently on small mistakes!
- bring down two or more national governments!
- get better at setting, insisting on and respecting boundaries!

good vibes only this year ✨

PSA: hey if someone make a toot and then expresses dread at the idea of getting a specific reply guy response, and you decided it'd be funny to say what they're dreading, and you're not their friend, like, stop it. don't send that toot.

i'm not saying i hate you if you did this, but your thought that it would be funny to "ironically" or unironically be a reply guy to a stranger is a bad mistake and i request that you not do it.

Me: This unfunny and rude thing that everyone does online, don't do it!!

Dudebro: * Ironically replies, doing exactly that thing *

Me: * Ironically blocks him immediately *

Please nobody fly in the US during the shutdown: "I've even had a couple of people say that they want to work for Lyft or Uber, in addition to working air traffic ... I would hate to be as fatigued as you would be if you were working both of those jobs."

git snark Show more

Life heck:

"HECK, oh gosh!" (but you have to repeat it for your life)

Bad tech idea; techbros this is a joke don't do it Show more

I can never find it, but back during all those clown sightings there was an article where a sheriff was telling people not to worry because "he believed it wasn't real clowns, just people in clown outfits" and I think about that all the time

food Show more

If any of you ever need a math consultant for your naughty teacher porn blackboards PLEASE contact me, PhD students don't make enough and I want to put hilarious overly well-thought out math in unlikely places and I'm available for very reasonable rates

Dystopia is a white people word that means “what if all that shit happened TO US?!?”

Reproductive anatomy, bathroom activities Show more

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