Jamie Gray boosted
Jamie Gray boosted

WHO DID THIS????? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ mastodon.cloud/media/RVMKX6stQ

Jamie Gray boosted

Zombearver.
If you watch Zombeavers, you'll get it.

Jamie Gray boosted

Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.

Jamie Gray boosted
Jamie Gray boosted

@Meshelly It's like sleeping pills saying "may cause drowsiness"

I should fucking well hope they do

Jamie Gray boosted

Jars of peanut butter say "may contain peanuts" on it.
Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing?
Good times.

Jamie Gray boosted

I Didn't Get as Much Done Today as I Wanted To - an autobiography. Or write it on my fucking tombstone, because you know what the final line in the bio would be.

Jamie Gray boosted
Jamie Gray boosted
Jamie Gray boosted

BREAKING: US officials briefed on Manchester incident say UK officials suspect it was caused by suicide bomber -NBC
cnb.cx/2rK3ee6

Jamie Gray boosted
Jamie Gray boosted

I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.

Jamie Gray boosted

If you go to dinner alone, always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert.

Jamie Gray boosted

Because you know the highest thing on your to do list is to to me, you can do that at Meshelly@indiebrew.net
Send me your best, if I dig it; you'll be streaming with the likes of Lisa Loeb, The Bacon Brothers, The Devin Townsend Project, and many, MANY more!!

Jamie Gray boosted

I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in.

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