While it was a source of incredible turmoil and identity crisis in my late teens and early-to-mid 20s, I've now gotten used to the fact that I'm not suited to academic mathematics, and I'm used to working in isolation, confined to an hour before work, and weekend mornings.
But wow is it strange to occasionally discover my privately-held views are more widely held. This week I learned of the "ultrafinitist" perspective, which is close to my own: https://sites.math.rutgers.edu/~zeilberg/mamarim/mamarimPDF/real.pdf
The notion of infinity as representing a non-terminating iterative calculation clarifies the absurdity of Cantor's diagonalization argument, which turns on completing one infinite task (enumerating all numbers as binary decimals) before beginning a second infinite task (flipping one digit in the nth term of each number in the "completed" list). At each finite step, given a list of n! possible numbers of length n, this algorithm clearly fails.
Ah, it's already past 9, time for work...
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