very :AAAAAA: how so many of my tootuals havent posted in a year. just went and combed thru and damn i miss some of u bitches

i've been gone so long that i dont even look like my pfp anymore
my hair is now silver and short. what a world

feeling particularly lonely tonight. or maybe just bored.

@_Crescensia_ i've proven myself to be pretty dumb and empty-minded, yeah

anyone got one of those wine corker things. need it for. something.

should i start saying it's a holiday to get people to actually boost my toots. hey guys it's myanmar's independence day give me boosts

@amylsacks i've been living inside a VHS tape for the past 14 years so that scans, yeah

oh god i accidentally said something super weird and out of context to someone because i didn't realize what toot it was replying to hahaha jesus shit

@amylsacks i'm gonna have to have a shady back-alley brain drain where they put some black market brain in my skull. turns out it was the brain of a ferret. oh no

@amylsacks do i metaphorically have coconut water inside my skull, or am i a medical miracle? you'll never know unless you come over here with your stethoscope and look for yourself

@Aquatica don't do what other people tell you to. because honestly i don't trust them. i've been putting myself out there for all this time and i still have found no doctor who will replace my coconut milk with a real brain

@amylsacks it doesn't really feel groovy when i constantly have that feeling you get after swimming and you get some water in your ear but cool

if you think i have anything insightful or clever to say about anything policital or social, you're very mistaken. if you shake my head, all you'll hear is coconut milk sloshing around.

i feel like i don't get mastodon anymore, which is weird because that implied a time when i did get it

welcome to the fediverse where we eat bad takes for breakfast and shit them out as posting gold by dinner time

i'm trying to type out the absolute reedyness and exhaustion in my voice, added to the fact i've had a sore throat for the past few days, just sounds very pathetic and absolutely pleading PLEASE Ash let me internet in peace

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me every time my cat hops up on my fuckin mousepad and almost flings my mouse into the void: p w e a s e . . . . . . . . no steppy,,,,,

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