Pinned toot

using this lazy sunday morning to finally get off my keister and move to @jimpjorps

ladies, gentlemen, americans... the president of the united states.

big tiddy man detective

​ 🕵️‍♂️

my cat is fuckin broke. my cat would be homeless if it weren't for me

got rich making bespoke macaroni art for the rich and famous... what's my secret? that's right, it's glue made from the world's most luxurious horse

mastodon is canceled. bofa is canceled. cum is canceled. none of these things must be allowed to exist any longer

just successfully used my mastodon posts to remember what I was doing two weeks ago so I could backfill my old timesheets

this evening's project: begin transposing the Tuba Christmas song book into a key playable by my weird marching tuba

I'm always impressed by all the detail work on armor that's usually going to be seen from 50' behind the character's shoulder

just had some really bad ramen so now the rest of the day is ruined

can't decide if I'm going to be the "woke best friend" kind of brand or the "tells random people they have stanky asses" kind of brand

dont know why gwyneth paltrow loves these jade eggs so much, they're really expensive and they don't taste like anything and they hurt my teeth

the traditional New Jersey breakfast is a roll with butter and a coffee, and for some reason when I tell this to people they act like it's the strangest possible thing to eat buttered bread before noon

trying to snatch a weave but it's in too tight and I pull at it feebly before giving up and crying

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