Noëlle the 8-Bit🏳️🌈🎄
It is REALLY HARD to not think of myself in terms of what I can do. And when I run across someone who can do everything I care about better than I can, it's REALLY HARD for me to not think that it would just be better if I stepped aside and didn't bother anymore.
I KNEW I should have immediately followed up posting this toot by muting responses to it.
If I could convince Mastodon at large of only one thing, it would be this:
if you see someone complaining, DO NOT give them advice.
If someone ASKS for advice, offer it.
But 90% of the time, someone complaining is just venting. They're not telling you the whole story, and they're not receptive to being given advice, because in that mental state, your "good-natured advice" is their "HERE'S HOW YOU'RE DOING THIS WRONG".
Do not respond with advice unless it's asked for.
@noelle sorry if i was doing this btw. i find often to empathise with someone's situation in a way that tries to be validating i end up sharing my own experiences and things i've attempted. but the whole Unknowability Of The Other thing multiplied by low-bandwidth text means it's a gamble whether it will even be meaningful to anyone in any way
@jk I do this too, as an attempt to build understanding. It's kind of hard not to sometimes...but the positive experiences stemming from doing it seem to outweigh the negative, as long as the goal isn't to just talk about yourself.