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josef @jk@mastodon.social
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its amazing that someone, somewhere, miles away, is literally setting a bunch of stuff on fire, so that your computer can see this fucking toot. and youre paying em to do it!!!! you're like "take my money!!! keep doing it!!! put more stuff on there, get it goin real good! i gotta see @jk's next toot!"

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@amphetamine @jk

(be careful if you actually build it, wood gas contains lots of carbon monoxide and everything must be gastight or 🔥 💥🚒 )

motherearthnews.com/renewable-

@vfrmedia @amphetamine @jk oh and here i just started writing my toots on planks and burning them. whoops!

@djsundog @amphetamine @jk

didn't Native Americans use smoke signals? could be slow bit rate though with some latency (although even wondering if you could use a glycol fogger and some kind of switched ventilator to send an actual octet stream that way) 😆

@vfrmedia There are rumours that insurgents in a North African state which had a violent insurgency several years back have used smoke signalling to communicate.

@amphetamine
we all move next door to @jk and ask him to read his toots out loud
boosting is done by shouting the same thing, faves are delivered as tiny paper stars into his mailbox

that's about as direct as we can get

@amphetamine @jk i was sure this was gonna go in a “set fire to computer” direction

obligatory note that if youre in france right now then youre only 8.6% doing that, which is commendable

@jk I'm in France, but I'm rather paying someone to make some dangerous rocks heat up magically, enough to boil water and make some big fans turn, but hopefully not so much that it would melt the ground. A tough balance to achieve.

@jk South Island of New Zealand is less than 1% doing that 😎

North Island is 17% doing that, but also 16% power cables hooked up to volcanoes, so we don't talk to them much

@vi i was imagining all these electricity pylons going off into the distance and just going up into the crater of a volcano

and then i realised actually, well, you could generate power that way with the thermoelectric effect..... .... just not very much

@jk i would rather they be stealing the sun's light, or the wind, or making glowy green rocks hot to give me the toots

@KitRedgrave they actually glow blue!! and only underwater when you put them next to eachother !!!

@jk oh well then why is everyone so afraid of rocks that don't even glow green??? :p

@KitRedgrave you cant hold them or you get sunburn on your hands!!!! and sun tan lotion doesnt help. so its best to avoid them unless ur not easily spooked. since its spooky af & u might get spooked

@KitRedgrave hold one of em in your hand??? get some of the right stuff, either the stuff offa the inside of a TV screen or maybe a old camera, ok??? put your hand in between, and jeez!!! theres your skeleton !!! an omen

@KitRedgrave not scary!!! completely safe... but spooky. and also unsafe

@jk joke's on you, I use your toots to turn fire back into stuff

@jk the more I think about this the worse it gets

modern civilisation is built on large kettles that spin things around really fast
sometimes we just make the entire earth be the kettle and that makes the electricity green instead of beige

@jk "Most XXIst century scholars theorize that so-called 'hot takes' are a reference to the ritual act of burning coal, which was believed to provide the electrical energy used at the time to power various devices, including the Inter-nette. Some notable hot takes include 'pineapple on pizza is actually good', 'smash has too many characters', and 'cats rule dogs drool'."

@jk
Which reminds me I purchased Little Inferno few days ago and havenʼt played with it yet. Even if I could without regret, as Iʼm off the grid right now.

@jk In some of our cases, that “someone” is the Sun, and that “stuff” is supercompressed hydrogen plasma.