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josef @jk

satya nadella: and without futher ado, we'd like to present to you, the app that's going to save Windows Phone

[applause]

me: *bringing up the Windows Phone simulator on a laptop* thank you, thank you. thanks for the warm welcome

satya: take it away!

me: okay so... heres the uhh... heres the app. you see here we have a blank screen, and at the top it says Example App. and at the bottom? theres this button that says Button. and when you tap it, it makes a fart sound

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@jk
From the audiance (all three of them): "Can it read bitlocker encrypted USB drives yet?"

Satya: Oh! No! Goodness no!