𝓳𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓮🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @johnnie@mastodon.social

I think there's some sort of metaphor here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
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RT @IranIntl_En
Kylie Moore-Gilbert, a British-Australian citizen who spent 2 years in an #Iran prison for no crime, essentially as a hostage, has tweeted that the handcuffs they put on them were stamped:
MADE IN UK. @KMooreGilbert
https://twitter.com/IranIntl_En/status/1368695146880045059

Well, this has broken me. Absolutely broken me. #IWD2021
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RT @DocMartineau
Gabriella's appearance at the end has me in tears. No child or family should have to go through this. We will all keep Nazanin in the spotlight until she's home. This is just beautifully put together, thank you @emmihowell #BringThemHome #FreeNazanin https://twitter.com/HowellProd/status/1368836492227907585
https://twitter.com/DocMartineau/status/1368851110061088773

Happy #InternationalWomensDay. Trans women are women. Trans rights are human rights. #IWD2021

Happy #InternationalWomensDay everyone. Gabriella Ratcliffe has still not been reunited with her mother, who has been unjustly imprisoned for nearly all of Gabriella's life. #FreeNazanin

OMG Scottish Tories! You'll never believe what's happened! The leader of a country has been accused of misleading Parliament! We all know how strongly you feel about that. Start the petition, lads, we're right behind you. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-news-live-today-brexit-nhs-latest-b1813066.html

Hey, if there was an infinite amount of food and no predators, so could I.
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RT @qikipedia
Female aphids can reproduce asexually, so do not require a male. If there was an infinite amount of food and no predators, a single female could create enough young to cover the Earth in a layer of aphids 149km deep in one year.
https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/1367794518423142401

This is honestly about as close to aural perfection as I've ever heard. Magnificent. Gives me chills every time. https://youtu.be/WDghE74HRWs

Hey @Pappystweet the curse is finally lifted! Only a matter of time until the triumph of #Badults series 3, surely? C'mon, give the people what they want. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-56251020 #benders

While technically true, this is dangerously misleading from a typographical POV. #FriendsDontLetFriendsDoubleSpace
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RT @qikipedia
It's easier to read text if it has two spaces after a period (rather than just one space).
https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/1366417954489786370

Re the whole #potatohead thing. It's not true and it never was. This is the kind of stupid roadblock that they desperately throw at us, in an attempt to force us to discuss absurdity rather than continue to fight for equality and respect. Don't get distracted. Stay on target.
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RT @Hasbro
Hold that Tot – your main spud, MR. POTATO HEAD isn’t going anywhere! While it was announced today that the POTATO HEAD brand name & logo are dropping t…
https://twitter.com/Hasbro/status/1365038178814590995

Honestly, how the fuck are you people still in charge? https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/538198-over-30-percent-of-americans-say-they-wont-get-covid-19-vaccine-poll

They can't simultaneously call us a banana republic and also say that we're allergic to fruit. Pick a lane, lads.
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RT @ruth_wishart
Not just (predictably) Andrew Neil but now Justin Webb on @BBCr4today uses the ludicrous and pejorative phrase "banana republic" in a discussion about Scotland. Shoddy journalism, given the kid glove treatment afforded Westminster's transgressions.
https://twitter.com/ruth_wishart/status/1365199921935249408

I wish I was half as good a writer when I was 17. I wish I was half as good a writer yesterday.
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RT @kylampereles
I’m glad even if I swear in a poem people still like it https://twitter.com/kateclanchy1/status/1364994430810419203
https://twitter.com/kylampereles/status/1365004453166936070

Gawd bless you, teachers. I have spent about an hour today homeschooling one single child, and I'm staring into the eyes of madness. Christ knows how you manage entire days with thirty of the fuckers.

Every year, Gregg's death feels more meaningless. What a pointless, pointless loss. And yet, in a way, his death had more impact on us all than his life ever did. #RIPGreggJevin
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RT @michaellegge
9 years. #RIPGreggJevin
https://twitter.com/michaellegge/status/1364488999151276032

What an awful, awful day Sarah has had, but watching the entire comedy community instantly rally round on this is giving me tingly feelings.
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RT @felicityward
@sarahbennetto Anyone who reads this, Sarah’s Kofi account is: https://ko-fi.com/sarahbennetto

If you got some spare pounds, dollars, cash, throw it her way. She’s a very good, kind, eternally generous person.
https://twitter.com/felicityward/status/1364339521438044165

Don't you tease me, you sentient haystack. Enough with your "could"s and "should"s. I'll believe it when my arse has gone numb from a badly-upholstered Guiness-stained stool and not before.
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RT @chortle
Comedy clubs could be back on May 17 | Boris Johnson unveils roadmap for releasing Covid restrictions http://zpr.io/Rfb58
https://twitter.com/chortle/status/1363907112053714948

Jesus Glinner, just come out already.

Honestly, if you can watch this and not be utterly overwhelmed by the sheer spectacle of incredible human accomplishment, then I don't know what to tell you. #Perseverance https://youtu.be/h6QFt8CPS9s?t=6437

I know we're all in lockdown right now and orbiting the event horizon of genuine underpants-on-the-head madness, so pinch of salt and all that, but I'm watching the highlights of #Perseverance landing and I'm literally crying with joy.