𝓳𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓮🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @johnnie@mastodon.social

I'm all on board with a Princess Bride remake, but if they cast Dwayne Johnson as Fezzik I'm out. There's only so far I can bend.

Seriously, this is a goddamn triumph, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Major Charles Ingram: Leave
Audience: *COUGH*
Major Charlies Ingram: ... or remain? I wonder. The options are to remain [long silent pause] or to leave.
Audience: *COUGH*
Major Charles Ingram: I'm going to leave, Chris.

Gary: Remain
Jason: Remain
Howard: Remain
Mark: Remain
Robbie: Leave
Jason: Leave

#TooSoon

Fuck me, that last one was funny. I really am very clever.

Galadriel - will diminish, and go into the West, and remain.

Fatty Bolger - Remain

Bill The Pony - Leave

Plus, obviously:

Gollum - Leave
Smeagol - Remain

Frodo - Leave
Sam - Leave
Merry and Pippin (FOTR) - Leave
Merry and Pippin (ROTK) - Remain
Aragorn - Leave
Boromir - Remain
Legolas - Remain
Gimli - spoiled his ballot by writing "AND MY AXE" in crayon
Gandalf - #indyref2
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RT @davidallengreen@twitter.com
Rorschach - Leave
Comedian - Leave
Ozymandias - Leave
Dr Manhatten - Foolish humans
Silk Spectre - Liberal leave
Nite Owl - Remain https://twitter.com/michaelglasper/status/1173…
https://twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/1174232892765065218

Content warning: this also features an HR Manager who pronounces "H" as "haitch", which is empirically the worst thing that has ever happened, and is currently making me viscerally angry on a train station platform.
---
RT @DTRTpodcast@twitter.com
Having 'The Talk' with your kids, surviving sand, motorbike treachery, squashed cows, Twix wrapper wrongdoings, Russell Brand... all can be found within the NEW Do The Right Thing with the sp…
https://twitter.com/DTRTpodcast/status/1173870662211051525

brb, just creating a throwaway account to repeatedly @ nonsense at myself until all the likes and RTs disappear below the fold.

I'm very mentally healthy.

Oh brilliant. My most liked/RTd tweet in months makes me look like a homophobic moron. Hooray.

This clearly came across as clumsily hetero-normative, which wasn't my intent at all. Now I feel sad.
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RT @johnnieingram@twitter.com
@GuiltFemPod @gracepetrie Please cast @Steveali_ as Grace's Crush. No particular reason, I just really like his voice.
https://twitter.com/johnnieingram/status/1173913226947518465

In the light of the farcical Luxembourg press conference, the cafe next door to my work have renamed their roasted chicken panini "The Full Boris", and it's a little ray of joy in unrelenting world.

Yeah, this was probably the right decision. I'm not interested in the inevitable subsequent pile-on, but his comments were pretty indefensible.
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RT @fsf@twitter.com
Richard M. Stallman has resigned as FSF president and from the board of directors: https://www.fsf.org/news/richard-m-stallman-resigns
https://twitter.com/fsf/status/1173780935910797312

Excellent. I see "Forgive Me, Mother" from @lazysusan@twitter.com is coming to @nextupcomedy@twitter.com . I missed it in Edinburgh.

YES PLEASE THANK YOU ALL OF THIS
---
RT @GuiltFemPod@twitter.com
This week’s episode features Margaret Atwood herself reading live from her book #TheTestaments! https://twitter.com/guiltfempod/status/1173552642636861444
https://twitter.com/GuiltFemPod/status/1173553270272475136

Oh @IamHappyToast@twitter.com I love you so much you preposterously talented bastard.
---
RT @IamHappyToast@twitter.com
Bor@IamHappyToast@twitter.com break free of the EU like the Incredible Hulk" so a sad man, walking alone down a street to a heartbreaking theme tune, unable to talk to anyone because of his anger issues and terrible life choices.
https://twitter.com/IamHappyToast/status/1173125365285511170

Well, that's it. I've dug the winter coat out of the wardrobe. It's all over.