the real johnny ✅ @johnnyseo@mastodon.social

master hand except instead of fighting you it jerks you off

scheduled toots brought to you by sheldon cooper of the epic comedy show the big bang theory bazinga

today on am i having a breakdown or am i just tired

*sniffs your pee* hmm... perhaps some milk? oh, dear, youre lactose intolerant, right? *sniffs your butt* mmmm, youve left me a creamy surprise, havent you?

surgery recovery fuckin sucks i just wanted to pee by myself and i couldnt smh

from this day forward kpop is illegql which means im illegal take me away coppies

hmmmmmmm funny joke

do u ever listen to a song for an entire month on repeat nd then get annoyed but a couple months later you listen to it again and put it back on replay bc me rn

*eats ur smegma seductively*

h

he

hee

heehee

hehe :3

hit or miss
she took the fucking kids huh

my hand is swollen and im so out of it its fantastic

hahahhhwhhaahahahahHshahahahaahahshahhahahahahaha funny joke good one barb see you next wednesday