Pinned toot

please do not send me nudes i do not want your nudes i have nowhere to put them my room is a mess (platonic hog pics acceptable)

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

*to the tune of the Nationwide jingle*
Bigfoot Tried to Eat My Ass ™

Pinned toot

i boost the toot, the toot i boost, upon the boosted toot i roost

me, clicking open random folders on my desktop and closing them for hours straight, to my cubicle mate, who has been diligently working all day:

heh, mondays am i right buddy?

mr tootman
send me some toots
make them real funny
so people will boost

asserting dominance over my mufos by replying to all their funny toots with “that’s funny!” instead of boosting/liking. they sigh at my bullshit and mute me, forcing me to forever lie in this dogshit bed i’ve made

asserting dominance over my mufos by replying to all their funny toots with “that’s funny!” instead of boosting/liking. they sigh at my bullshit and mute me, forcing me to forever lie in this dogshit bed i’ve made

seriously tho i hate having to act “threatening” or mean towards customer service people who are just tryin to do their dang jobs. normally i wouldn’t have even asked for a refund, if i get duped into getting charged for an extra month of something i’ll just eat the loss, assuming I can afford it. this particular service “conveniently” charges for six months at a time, which i CANNOT afford. but good news! they gave the refund right away after i sent the initial, polite request. Soooo relieved

ughhh I forgot to cancel a subscription. time to do the “become incrementally more aggressive/hostile with support agents until they agree to process a refund” 🙄

ec, picture of myself in my halloween costume 

ate some French onion soup and I am TRIPPING folks, ! It’s a good thing I’m not driving tonight haha so wasted from all this french onion soup

trying to save my game before sending a risky toot, only to realize with despair that in real life there’s no save scumming

they don’t call him “mr assman” for no reason

i know i probably dont have anything original to say on this and im sorry but the problem i see with the trolley problem is that it presupposes that situations just occur ab initio without context. like the systems that led people to be tied to train tracks and a lever to pull and decide their lives is probably of greater ethical import than the dude at the lever going oh fuck shit what do i do.

*the national voice*

Oh, but your love is such a swamp
dada toilet by Duchamp

me: these people sexualizing tulsi gabbard are gross as hell, jesus christ people

also me: bernie has a tremendous, tumescent hog do not fucking dare to @ me

Gandalf shits, but just like the Harry Potter wizards he Magics it away immediately so no one can tell

downloading as much overwatch porn as my pc will hold as an act of revolutionary protest against blizzard

hey folks, i hate doing this, but I just put out $3700 to move and i'm short on paying my cellphone bill by about $70, if anyone can kick a few bucks to a broke assed communist who cares for a disabled parent, i'd appreciate it incredibly, cash app: $youngpyromancer

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