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I have made peace with my pastor, I am collecting boulders in a shed out back, in 10 weeks god will make the earth into a perfectly flat coin and you'll suddenly be best friends with me, guy who has all the boulders from whose height you can see the cosmos

one day the world will be ready to talk about and embrace the “kill all cops” platform

(Hakuna matata voice)
“Do they show the lion’s hog?”
“Do they show the lion’s HOOOOOOOOOOG?”

One question I had about the new lion king movie is do they show the lions dicks. This is important information too me

My tiny ass town is having its first ever pride parade today and im missing it, this sucks

we all know about big dick energy, small dick energy, etc but what about ugly dick energy, that's what i'm pretty sure i got siri send toot

mr tootman
send me some toots
make them real funny
so people will boost

kombucha girl gross face: "lad culture"
kombucha girl intrigued face: the hypothetical concept of "lass culture"

i dont know what “lad culture” is but is there a lass culture and what is it

american football 

every late 20’s white girl is named melissa or carly. every late 20’s white boy is named keith or dylan.

alc 

the only way to stop a bad guy with a gameFAQs dot com account, is a good guy, with a gameFAQs dot com account

@saxnot yes he wrote a famous text called SIDDON MY DICK AND BALLS, DORK

Casual reminder that ear candling is a scam!!! Don’t be tricked by the white devil . (kinoki foot pads also a scam)

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