Random masto confessional:

I let a lot of stuff sort of fall by the wayside, and I feel bad about it, but I also know I have a limited supply of energy and wherewithal, more and less at different times, and I just kinda prioritize it as:

1. Keep my daily life shit and my marriage in baseline healthy state.
2. Keep MetaFilter operational.
3. Literally everything else.

And if the shit sliding falls wholly under 3, I call it a qualified victory. Sometimes I do better, but at least: priorities.

And on the one hand, this isn't some deep dark secret -- I know masto isn't a private haven and don't expect it to be, and e.g. I'm mutuals with a whole bunch of MeFi folks on here -- and on the other hand it *is* the sort of thing I rarely talk about in detail in public. One of the odd twists of my Very Online life is that I have fewer venues for publicly-but-effectively-privately talking about stuff; most of the folks I would talk to are also wrapped up in my online life and responsibilities!

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So as weird little stepping stones of externalizing rather than endlessly internalizing shit that ties my brain up in knots, there's something useful about the admixture of masto as a semi-obscure social space and of a general expectation I have of the folks I follow and who follow me of being decent and having good boundaries that makes it feel more...possible, permissible? to dump a little bit here in a way I might not so much on e.g. twitter.

Which is all to say, I guess, hey. Shit's weird sometimes. I'm okay, stuff that needs getting done is getting done, but sometimes goddam it's a muddle and the contours of life and the process of navigating the complex web of social connections and obligations and so on is fuckin' tiring and weighty at times.

@joshmillard I appreciate the work you do and the decency you do it with. The part of it that makes it's way into the digital public where we cross paths always helps remind me that there are good and talented people out there also cutting irregular paths through all this. That means a lot.

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