Seintrek (a toot in two parts)

CAPTAIN: What happened to that guy you were dating?
ENSIGN: I broke it off. He was a slow-transporter.
CAPTAIN: A slow-transporter?
ENSIGN: You know. He'd always ask the transport engineer to "take it real slow".
LT. CMDR: *wrestling with a bag of pretzels* I hate that. Other people need to use the transporter! C'mon!

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CAPTAIN: Okay, but that was a deal-breaker?
ENSIGN: Well, it wasn't just that. He...enjoyed it.
CAPTAIN: He enjoyed it?
ENSIGN: Like a little too much.
ENSIGN: He'd show up thirty seconds after me every time, moaning.
LT. CMDR: Why do they replicate these crappy bags?

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