Josh "cortex" Millard @joshmillard@mastodon.social

TIRED: mediator
WIRED: untagonist

[contemporary Ahab] from hell's heart i dab at thee

the premier magazine for status-chasing bog witches, Better Gnomes and Harridans

Hackers remake where everything is the same except Dade's handle is Crash Bandicoot

@silby
tired: what's the reason for this report
wired: what's your fucken problem

instead of like "x, who you might know, is on this service" follow prompts, social media apps should be like "EEYYyyyyy, you KNOW this fucken guy?!"

different absolutely forgettable hold music as I get transferred, this is much better, I can relax and pretend it's a lesser video game soundtrack and enjoy the way that having it on speaker on my phone ladles a bunch of unintended distortion over the whole thing and makes it slightly better than it is

Stuck with some Extremely Light Jazz instrumental hold music right now, which isn't exactly remarkable, but the melody hook that guitar lead is picking out is basically the melody of the verse of Leaving On A Jetplane but then it fucks off into some other generic thing. Weirdly maddening musical trolling.

Warning: film may contain spoilers for content of film

@monkeyborg I was thinking of it out of the blue because (and this is how my "literally everything is a figurative ear-worm" brain works with it's hyperactive free-association) i looked at a picture of a bus

@monkeyborg Hrm, yeah. It's been too long since I've seen the movie. Maybe I'll rewatch that scene and see if I can contrive some sort of harder edit that would work at all.

Still thinking about Speed and that baby stroller, and: what if they just recut the film very slightly to omit the explicit confirmation that it was cans. What if we just see Keanu look out of frame and then he tells Sandra that it was cans, and we never know.

What if we are left to decide whether Keanu chose to, metaphorically, shoot the hostage to keep Sandra on mission and save lives.

What if the reason they break up before Speed 2 is she found out that's what happened.

like, is it really a trolley problem if whichever option you choose turns out to be cans and also Keanu is there to reassure you, where's the moral calculus, where's the utilitarian angle

Speed would have been a more emotionally complex film if that stroller hadn't been full of cans.

every time god closes an aorta he opens a ribcage

Attack and debone God

Love on an escalatorrrrr
Doin' a gal on diagonal

Casually not giving a shit about something: the ultimate boycott.

@selfsame
once upon a time i was hosting a snack
now i'm only hosting a shart

@zpojqwfejwfhiunz ah, yes, the que?cumber