I wrote a song about the end of the year, and losing people, and getting through it all together.
welp yes indeed that happened
And this isn't about songwriting writ large, it's just about me and my personal songwriting tendencies and skillset and how my brain works. But I get tired of only writing essentially exploitatively sad songs, and those are kind of the thing I had the most handle on as a serious songwriter.
And the irony of the whole thing is that that's part of why I write a lot fewer songs the last several years; and that itself in turn sometimes makes me feel pretty sad.
I have hope, I have optimism, I have things I look forward to; I have a recognition of how basically lucky I personally am and how things are good within the small confines of my personal existence. It's not that life is within my personal orbit a bleak void etc. etc.
But I don't want to sing about "hey, *I'm* fine" because what a boring and dickish move. And I don't want to sing about "hey, you're all fine" because what a bullshitty assertion to insist other people accept.
I got out of bed with my brain staring at "12/31" on a figurative calendar and mulling over a chorus that buttons up on "another year, and most of us made it" which is technically speaking a kind of optimism and celebration of keeping on keeping on but fundamentally it's motivated by loss, dead friends, how hard a time basically everyone is having.
And obvious route are I either dress that chorus up with some forced cheer to distract from the bite, or I lean into it and get abject and grim.
Basically every year when the New Year is closing in the part of my brain that used to do a lot of song-writing and now does not very much pipes up with "hey, what if we wrote a song about the year ending?"
And just about every time the first couple ideas that come out are melancholy as hell and most years I just bail on that because I don't want the last thing I do in the year to be make myself and other people sad with The Power Of Song.
Which relates a bit to me not writing songs much.
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