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I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as 2019 is, in fact, GNU/Year.

Anyway, couldn't get the chorus motif out of my head so I wrote up a couple verses and a couple choruses and it's shaping up like this year I'm gonna write the sad song and instead of being sad about not writing a song.

And this isn't about songwriting writ large, it's just about me and my personal songwriting tendencies and skillset and how my brain works. But I get tired of only writing essentially exploitatively sad songs, and those are kind of the thing I had the most handle on as a serious songwriter.

And the irony of the whole thing is that that's part of why I write a lot fewer songs the last several years; and that itself in turn sometimes makes me feel pretty sad.

I have hope, I have optimism, I have things I look forward to; I have a recognition of how basically lucky I personally am and how things are good within the small confines of my personal existence. It's not that life is within my personal orbit a bleak void etc. etc.

But I don't want to sing about "hey, *I'm* fine" because what a boring and dickish move. And I don't want to sing about "hey, you're all fine" because what a bullshitty assertion to insist other people accept.

I got out of bed with my brain staring at "12/31" on a figurative calendar and mulling over a chorus that buttons up on "another year, and most of us made it" which is technically speaking a kind of optimism and celebration of keeping on keeping on but fundamentally it's motivated by loss, dead friends, how hard a time basically everyone is having.

And obvious route are I either dress that chorus up with some forced cheer to distract from the bite, or I lean into it and get abject and grim.

Basically every year when the New Year is closing in the part of my brain that used to do a lot of song-writing and now does not very much pipes up with "hey, what if we wrote a song about the year ending?"

And just about every time the first couple ideas that come out are melancholy as hell and most years I just bail on that because I don't want the last thing I do in the year to be make myself and other people sad with The Power Of Song.

Which relates a bit to me not writing songs much.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove off his truck—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all please get fucked!”

said the little lamb to the motherfucker
do you see what I see
way up in the sky motherfucker

Red Over Blue And Vice Versa
watercolor and pencil on paper, 15”x11"

*scraping a knife around literally five seconds later and hoping for the best*

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