One of the reasons I tend to impulsive toot/tweet/etc half-baked free-association jokes when I think of them is otherwise they might stick around in my head.
I've been grudgingly carrying "the 'Riiiiise aaaand FALLLLL, on the wiiiiings of my dreaaaaam' chorus from the theme to Perfect Strangers, except instead of 'rise and fall' it's 'Rie-fen-STAAAAAHL' " around in my mental pocket for years now, like there's gonna be a perfect 80s sitcom vs. Nazi cinematography conversation to drop it into
my doctor told me it'd be good for me to try and go on more long walks
And then once he's good and dead and the immediate threat of a vampire getting their hands on his superblood has passed, they take him down...but just to be sure they also stick behind a huge rock in a cave.
But that's when they get lazy, and don't monitor the cave long enough there after, and some wily vamp sneaks in and gets whatever power is left in the clotting blood of the body after all.
And then hides the body. And then shapeshifts to "be" Jesus for a bit.
Idle thought on vampire fiction and religious iconography: running with the idea of Peter Watt's "Crucifix Glitch" -- that vampires have a baked in sensory processing issue with euclidean perpendiculars -- maybe the reason people in the old days were crucified was not so much an accident of cruel spectacle but a means to make sure very specific people weren't available for vampire consumption. Maybe Jesus was vampire superfood, so they had to put him in a no-access zone.
i changed my mind, i want a headstone that read "allegedly cremated", that seems like a deeply economical way to sow confusion
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