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*bites own hand to keep from screaming in terror*

*ends up screaming in both terror and self-inflicted pain*

fraction being gracious at an awards show, like, oh, it's an honor just to be denominated

full disclosure this works fine on its own as free association but was actually an incredibly ghoulish imp-of-the-perverse reaction to recent news

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reasonably hopeful that my eventual obit thread on MetaFilter will be less caustic than lowtax's on SA; absolutely certain that it will have far less vertical padding

"shadowbanning" is a story people tell themselves to avoid confronting the fact that MOST days are off days

working on an obvious ripoff of a David Lynch film, it's called Mulholland Derive

when you steal someone's yogurt that's called cultural appropriation

MOBSTER: [is fatally wounded in mob shootout]
MOBSTER: [beholds a raven]
MOBSTER: [to raven] so what are you supposed to be, some kinda psychopomp?
MOBSTER: [turning to other dying mobsters] check this guy out, he thinks he's a fuckin' psychopomp
DYING MOBSTERS: [blood-choked derisive laughter]
MOBSTER: my ass, fuckin' psychopomp, get outta here

I thought i was investing in a legitimate penis inflation and bidet startup but it turns out it was just a pump-and-dump scheme

you ever co-author a biography of storied stage and screen actor Charles Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight

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you ever taken free swing dance lessons at the local Eagle lodge with the devil in the pale moonlight

yeah i'm an authoritarianian, i only eat authoritarians

one time Pinhead from Hellraiser did the Macaulay Culkin face-slapping thing from Home Alone as a bit and later tried to describe it to the other Cenobites as "a source of exquisite pain" but everybody knew he actually just felt pretty stupid about it

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