So today in a meeting I watched my colleague, a quiet lawyer, graciously refuse food that was passed round the table. Each latecomer had another go at offering the plate of cake to him. All the thoughts were kind.
I saw in that moment, and in his grace, what it means to him to fast, to be the solitary Muslim in our not-Muslim workplace, to have no one ever remember what time of year it is, to not remember who he is.
I think we can do better.
@katebowles What can we do better?
There are so many reasons to refuse a cake offer.
In a 'food situation' It is not feasable to please everybody's diet plan, may it be the presence of food at all or limited to certain food group(s).
I now think differently about Ramadan. Muslim colleagues have given me insight into what takes it beyond diet plan for them.
So he asked nothing of us, but maybe we could have been considerate of his practice if we’d remembered and handled it differently, and it would have done us no harm at all.
Nice outcome: for next year he will record a short video for us about Ramadan experience to support our Muslim students, who are similarly in small number.
@katebowles But what exactly does a different handling look like?
Don't have cake/food at all?
Just have it standing in a corner?
Not offer the colleague any of it? (What if you know he is Muslim but doesn't participate in fasting?)
And then there is the athlete preparing for a contest, the persons in weight-loss mode, the vegans...
All these diet restrictions are a choice. My diet plan and motivation also is nobody's business and nobody should make a big thing of me refusing food offers.
That’s an interesting comparison. I work closely with a serious endurance athlete who eats strictly, in a measured and time sensitive way.
My respect for both my colleagues is the same, but I don’t think what they’re doing is necessarily the same.
Respecting both isn’t a big task.
@katebowles This reminds me a little of a place I used to work. We all went out as a team to celebrate some project milestone. It was in the midst of Ramadan, so our one Muslim colleague came along and sat without ordering anything while the rest of us ate and drank beer. I remember thinking, at the time, that this was probably difficult for him but it was great that he still came to socialize. In hindsight, we could have done better and picked a different activity.
@katebowles Highest respect for everyone who is able to live up to her or his ideals of beliefs like that - quiet and without being offended. I've seen worse and more "offended" patterns of behaviour by, say, West European vegetarians very openly and massively complaining that a restaurant scheduled for a business meeting doesn't offer a vegetarian dish. :(
@katebowles @vfrmedia This was good story I read this morning.
An Iftar to heal religious divide in India
Ankit Saxena was killed by his Muslim girlfriend's family, but his father organises Iftar to bridge religious divide.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/06/iftar-heal-religious-divide-india-180606081132383.html
@katebowles
I actually forgot it was Ramadan until earlier this week:/
That’s exactly what happened to us.
Here’s the thing. We’re the internationalisation committee.
@katebowles discussing religion in the workplace can be taboo but tbh I've had some very insightful and interesting conversations with my muslim colleague over the years and consequently my team all knew ramadan was coming for weeks in advance. I'm an atheist but if coversation is approached with an attitude of respect and understanding rather than debate it very much worth it.
@katebowles Agreed. How do we remember? It means being more aware of others. It means learning culture, and customs.