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I've noticed cars have this button that makes all illegal parking spots legal! Very clever.

@kornel when you press it it literally launches you out of your seat

@kornel thats the button that turns your car into a bike. Allowing you free reign on all paths.

@kornel Also it magically repairs and enables the malfunctioning side lights of BMWs and Audis. 20+ years in the making and BMW and Audi still can't make them work reliably.

@kornel you can literally murder someone and if your flashers are on, it’s all completely legal

cars 

@kornel I call it the "I know that what I’m doing is illegal (but not in a good way) and I’m doing it anyways" button

@kornel

When people go on about the strength of triangles in structural engineering this is why. Triangles have the innate power of existing wherever they want and not being changed by outside forces.

When you press this button inside your car it activates what is known as a Mechanical Triangle Array (You may have heard mechanics refer to this as an MTA when getting your car inspected).

@kornel

The icon for the Mechanical Triangle Array (your "hazards") is actually a decent reflection of the mechanism itself.

In order to condense the power of many triangles into a small enough space, car companies (originally volvo) figured out they could place a series of smaller and smaller triangles inside eachother (like a russian doll but triangles). You of course dont ALWAYS want the MTA on, so when you press that button it joins the third side of all these triangles to the other two.

@kornel

Its a clever solution because if you think about it you can have two segments of the triangles already joined and with a *single* mechanical motion join ALL of the triangles at once. This massively simplifies the problem of trying to make an array of partially completed triangles and complete each one using its own individual mechanism.

So next time you press your hazards and gain the magical ability to park anywhere you fucking want remember its all thanks to triangles!!

@kornel Be careful, people who find out they have this ability don't realize it has an invisible uptime.

The UI is bugged and the blinkers don't stop after you've been in the illegal zone for too long so it could get you in trouble. And different zones are more powerful and reduce the uptime, so only recommended for advanced players in familiar zones.

kid!me story, cars 1 

@kornel
Oh my gosh i want to go on a tangent about these.

So. Kid me sees this button. Asks mum what it's for. This happens multiple times, with some variations of: "It's the hazard lights." "Can i see / press it / turn them on?"

I was never never ever allowed to.

Srudying the roadcode to take the test age 15 (went up to 16 later), basically all it said was to turn them on in an emergency.

kid!me story, cars 2 

@kornel
I still didn't know what these lights were or what they looked like turned on. Because it was always a triangle shape, i kind of envisioned a purple (why purple? Dunno) triangle-outline light on the back of a car, even though i had seen the backs of many cars and was, in fact, aware that this was likely inaccurate.

When i got my own car at age 17, what do you think i did?

kid!me story, cars 3 

@kornel
No, i didn't test it. /Clearly/ the reason i was never ever allowed to even see what the button did was because once it was turned on, it couldn't be turned off. Why else would there be such a steadfast refusal to turn it on for me?

When i was 20 i started working with labourers employed by the city council, in work trucks that get parked in weird places.

kid!me story, cars 4, some caps 

@kornel
And when they parked weirdly they just... hit the button.

And all that happened was all the indicators went on together, instead of just one side or the other.

I was TWENTY when i learned what warning lights looked like.

And when we went to drive away, they hit the button again, and they turned off.

THEY TURNED OFF.

I WAS TWENTY.

I had been driving for FIVE YEARS.

And I'd only just found out they could be turned off.

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