we asked five different ancient greek philosophers to name every bean in this glass jar

socrates: why?
plato: ok hold on let me get out a scroll so i can list them
aristotle: how can i name them unless i know their genders
heraclitus: they're all named dave, done
diogenes: [disqualified for eating the beans]

@kotep Pythagoras: (was too busy running away screaming to comment)

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