lumen @lumen@mastodon.social
I write silly jokes.
Joined Apr 2017
@Support Hi! I haven't logged into mastodon in a long time. Now in my account settings it says:
> You can still use your account but only people who are already following you will see your posts on this server, and you may be excluded from various public listings. However, others may still manually follow you.
Why did that happen? Did I break some rule? Can you help me to restore my account to full functionality?
Let me teach you python in one toot: hhhssshhsshaassshhssss.
I wonder how many times have I seen the same pigeon?
One of those flying bastards could've been stalking me since I was eleven for all I know.
Zoloft, Remeron, Effexor. Is it just me or do antidepressant brands sound like the names of Lovecraftian eldritch abominations?
On my wedding cake I will have two little figures - of me and a wedding cake.
Mindy's birthday ended in tragedy when she ate the cake so fast that noone could warn her about a stripper hiding inside it.
- Oh, come on, I'm not that drunk, I can drive!
- Dude, you drank enough whiskey to drown a midget.
Girl: Can you stop the car? I need to pee.
Guy: Again?
Girl: Don't you need to go?
Guy: Fuck no! I'm a man! Real men never pee. We hold it in, we show the water who's in charge.
Girl: How do you get rid of pee?
Guy: We sweat it out when we fight forest fires with our bare fists.
I am so intense I cut my pubic hair with a chainsaw.
Are you calling yourself soldiers!? We might as well try throwing cookies at the enemy, and wait for them to die of diabetes!
I write silly jokes.
Joined Apr 2017
