Let me teach you python in one toot: hhhssshhsshaassshhssss.
I wonder how many times have I seen the same pigeon?
One of those flying bastards could've been stalking me since I was eleven for all I know.
Zoloft, Remeron, Effexor. Is it just me or do antidepressant brands sound like the names of Lovecraftian eldritch abominations?
- My wife is gone.
- Oh, so you have finally called that exorcist?
- Oh my god, Cindy is always late.
- Someone should teach her to use protection.
- Oh, come on, I'm not that drunk, I can drive!
- Dude, you drank enough whiskey to drown a midget.
Girl: Can you stop the car? I need to pee.
Girl: Don't you need to go?
Guy: Fuck no! I'm a man! Real men never pee. We hold it in, we show the water who's in charge.
Girl: How do you get rid of pee?
Guy: We sweat it out when we fight forest fires with our bare fists.
I am so intense I cut my pubic hair with a chainsaw.
Are you calling yourself soldiers!? We might as well try throwing cookies at the enemy, and wait for them to die of diabetes!
I make dumb jokes
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