Pinned toot

I want to kiss my wife, but she does not exist

chosen few boosted
chosen few boosted

Flew too close to the sun so many times I can just do that now like it's no big deal

chosen few boosted

Aaahhh!! [in a really shitty accent] Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez [back to regular white guy voice] go to bed!! 🙈 its getting late for a senator! 😊

The only valid sex work is being a boyfriend

chosen few boosted

The amount to which im smart should be weighed against the amounts of times i did whip-its and how long I've been online because considering that im a genius

"wehhh wehhh AUTHORITARIAN leftists executed anarchists in the soviet union!!!" yeah thats actually something that i like youre reminding me more and more every day that stalin was, essentially, good.

I need a gf or I will drive my killdozer (with Suckin Dick Bought This Van bumper sticker) into a starbucks

hey man i heard that, get this, i heard, are you listening?, i heard that they made a, haha, a, hahaha, a toilet for assholes.

chosen few boosted
chosen few boosted
Show more
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!