You come into my house and you tell me how to raise my cats?? You don't know SHIT

memevvitch boosted

George: So I boosted her selfie!
Jerry: You boosted her?
George: I boosted her!
Jerry: You can't just go around boosting selfies!
Elaine: Listen, Jerry, it means something different on Mastodon.
Kramer, on his phone: Right! In fact, my whole TL is boosted selfies of beautiful women.

memevvitch boosted

like Jesus, I "Turn The Other Cheek" to my haters...... the other Butt Cheek!! LOL

memevvitch boosted

Some people say that I'm not really a mom just because my children are cats and to them I say, "What right have you to deny me my motherhood! Have I not also changed their diapers?? Have I not also allowed my babes to suckle at my teet??"

memevvitch boosted

The revolution will be led by fucking dorks imho

memevvitch boosted

Hi tooter I get to share these with you here now but I have this app called 1 Second Everyday where the aim is to record 1 second of video of your day every single day then it’s edited together into a 2 minute video. I’ve been doing it a year and a half now and it’s really encouraged me to find some small joy in the every day.

memevvitch boosted

Y'all ever just c̱ͅo̞̲̮̬͙͚n͚̞̻͓͎͔͔s̻u̼̳̖͇͖̘m̼e̼̥̦͖̩?͕̝͉̱̣

@mardiroos
Like farts through our bowels, so are the days of ours lives

@mardiroos
The storms on the outside are mere echoes of the great storm bubbling in the sewers of our hearts ...............

They just used the power of sisterhood to vanquish this demonic reincarnated abusive (vampire??) ex and now all the pta moms are using brooms to sweep up his shitty demonic ashes

now there is an emergency pta mom exorcism seance scene this movie rules

I'm watching practical magic for the first time and this cop investigating the murder of an abusive vampire(maybe?? That's the implication??) boyfriend just asked one of the sister witches out on an interrogation/date, this movie is very intense/bizarre

@mardiroos @jizzwitch@bofa.lol i can tell you with complete and perfect authority that @mardiroos has in fact had a crush on line, which is basically a double cop move

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