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worm man @michaelmell@mastodon.social

my mother went to go get milk from the store literally two hours ago so I guess I'm an orphan now

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telling people on the internet to not use the word 'dumb' is not a Win for nd people its just.... literally fake woke. thats my hot take for today

unpop opinion or not idk but those lists that are like "avoid these ableist words" and have stuff like.... stupid and dumb on them are so useless and fake-performative

I’m trying to bake rn and my sister’s bird is like physically cussing me out for not paying attention to him. Me too buddy

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me, a gay, just trying to communicate with another gay that i thought they said something funny

This is as nsfw as I’m gonna be on main but vampires... big sexy

That wiki page post for otis the cow haunts my dreams I’ll just be minding my own business and suddenly- “alive, lactating”

meals that involve mayonnaise and gelatin as the main ingredients are so cursed and I'm glad we moved past that as a society

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ya ever speak to someone and just know they've read homestuck at some point

I have done NOTING productive all day

I love designing ocs and giving them meaningful character traits like "he doesn't believe in modern medicine" or "she's only fueled by spite"

I've offended the entire groupchat by insinuating that cats have names

y'kno that post thats like "when u send something rly not risky to the chat but then everyone stops repllying" thats me I asked what someone's cats names were and everyone just stopped talking I don't, understandn