Me: "The cat gets freaked out by the street cleaner when it goes past the balcony. He probably thinks it's a giant vacuum cleaner..."

My Mother, Who Lives in Ireland: "The what?"

Me: "The street cleaner. You know, those cars with a giant brush that come and clean the streets..."

My Mother: "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot you lived in a civilized country."

If that's not a confirmation that running away from home at 19 was the best life decision I ever made, I don't know what is.

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