When I dream about going back to school, it seems like my dreams always involve adding some dangerous architecture that doesn't exist in real life.
I want to see professional race car drivers playing Mario Kart
Joke's on him, one night consider me a "software fairy"
Coworker: "Your department is hardware, right?"
Me: "... Software. I'm a software engineer."
Coworker: "I'm fairly certain that we don't have a software department"
Where does he think software comes from, the Software Fairies?
Say a word with enough feeling, enough times, and it becomes. An entity - demon, god, spirit? - of that name is born.
Fuck haunted us with snarled annoyance, so we shared pictures of cats, puppies, and otters, until finally, Aww woke with a cute little sneeze. That'll protect us.
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories
I've had the Gerudo Valley theme stuck in my head all day today and I'm ok with this because that song is fantastic
Kingdom Hearts: a game where you can have a deep talk about dreams with a talking mouse
Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
That moment when you want to write a blog post, but put it off because you don't feel like writing the code examples... for a post that's entirely about code.
YouTube has started suggesting LGBT music videos to me at work, and I love it
Ramona V. Flowers: What kind of tea do you want?
Scott Pilgrim: There's more than one kind?
Ramona V. Flowers: We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and... earl grey.
Scott Pilgrim: Did you make some of those up?
Ramona V. Flowers: This is good garlic bread.
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping.
Ramona V. Flowers: Then you'd get fat.
Scott Pilgrim: No, why would I get fat?
Ramona V. Flowers: Because bread makes you fat.
Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?
"What in carnation is going on in here?" exclaimed Bluebell, a human sized anthropomorphic flower, gaping at the two men embracing in the sitting room.
"Uh, well Blue, yer... probably old enough learn this: when two humans love each other ve--"
"Ah don't care how you choose ta pollinate, you're doin' it on the decorative pillows!" she squawked, "Y'all told me those were for special occasions!"
"Anniversaries ARE special, Blue."
My sister had her credit card stolen... Guess she's a real adult now
Just magnetized a screwdriver manually