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Doctor: I'm terribly sorry but the tests are back. Your child is artistic.

Parents: (sob)

Doctor: Now don't worry, it's not the end of the world. Your child will never have the mind of an executive, but with modern innovations like Etsy, Patreon and Kickstarter, they may be able to pay rent well into their mid-20s.

Parent: Did... did crayons do this

Doctor: Who can say? We're exposed to so many forms of art every day: music, poetry, language, geometry..

Parent: We're getting crayons BANNED

@natecull My kid wants nothing to do with visual art. He just scribbles for a few seconds and declares himself done. If we really want him to try, we run the tires of his toy monster truck through paint and tell him to drive it around on the paper.

@natecull and two years later, cue an astonishing range of conspiracy theories about Big Crayola

@thamesynne @natecull along with an ever-emerging range of miracle cures that will make your artistic child want to be an accountant in no time

@thamesynne @natecull ignore the warnings from the writers guild, they're in on it

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