@pbandkate nurse this patient needs to study and/or relax this instant

uspol shitpost 

remember demotivators? facebook does

In the series finale of big bang sheldon tries out his homemade muad'dib weirding module. Shouting "bazinga" he blows a hole through Penny's head. All the nerdlings wear superhero onesies to the funeral. A single tear rolls down Leonard's face as the bagpipes play. FIN

I just placed a grocery order online and it was so hard not to shitpost in the "note for your shopper" field.

Sweet potato:
"give me the sweetest potat u have"

"lol what even are these ????"

as the old sailor saying goes,
if the eyebrow pierc-ed be, bleached hair ye may see
if the piercing be the septum, then blue hair should ye be expectin'

I made a little thing on Glitch for making blackout poetry, so you can be emo on the internet faster and more efficiently blackoutpoetry.glitch.me

man just really feeling like shit tonight huh

Seeing as I am pro-life I would not in fact kill baby hitler. I would instead use my vast wealth to buy political influence in interwar germany. Gutting the welfare state in order to cause poor health outcomes and educational failure for unwanted children, thus ensuring that adol

Traveling back in time, to send baby hitler forward in time, for joseph gordon-levitt to "take care of"

(as a loving father)

Wait, baby hitler? I thought you said baby himmler

(in the post coital glow, murmuring)
What media platform community guidelines do you think our encounter conforms to?

uspoli shitpost 

Doofus Alert!
Once again PRESIDENT CLOWN NOSE has DISAPPOINTED CONGRESS by wearing the sacred Flag pin UPSIDE DOWN?!
And he allegedly calls himself a so called LEADER!?
What a Loopy Goofball!

"And coming up in the next episode of the podcast we have Nickelback lead singer and newly minted grocery franchisee here to tell us about Chad's Kroger"

"What kind of person would name their daughter Scrungus?"
and other questions to ask in this year of our lord 2029

"The decline of the American Empire is an example of planned obsolescence" I mutter
"Sir this is a Wendy's drive-thru" says my friend, in reference to the joke format
"I used to write things like that on my blog" says George Jetson, who is also there for some reason

In the city of Manchester a romantic evening with soft mood lighting is referred to in the local dialect as a Mancunian Candle-date

Master of Puppets but every time he says "master" it gets Hetfieldier

A southern fried re-telling of Frank Herbert's "Dune" coming soon to Food Network in a three part mini-series starring Guy Fieri as Paul "Mud-Dog" Atreides

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