adult onset sudden infant death syndrome

priest: the father
me: [whispering to my wife] he means god
priest: the son
me: thats jesus
priest: and the holy ghost
me: slimer

1994 is as close to us as 2042, actually 2042 is way closer since we'll eventually get there but 1994 has been destroyed by the endless maw of the present. Anyway welcome to Chili's

enjoy this Russian meme that I think basically translates to “sight of cat, grace of potat”, every time I look at it it gets a bit funnier

Idk how to explain it but the vibe on the tl is kinda like this today

baba yaga but her name is babe-a yaga. everything about her is the same but her house walks around on sexy lady legs wearing fishnet stockings.

it is 4:20 am. boost and favourite if you like to smonk that cush

🎶 I dreamed a dream of Mastodon gone by

When toots were great and all worth boosting

I dreamed the memes would never die

I dreamed Eugen would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

The jokes were made, and used, and wasted

There were no mods muting our friends

And no dog-piles across instances 🎶

...

🎶 But Wil Wheaton comes at night... 🎶

no I'm not on bofa.lol, yes I have an alt.
you can follow me at tcotmemes@shadowbanned.patriotism

Boost this tweet if you wish to receive a fine steel blade from an anonymous donor. If you are pure of heart, you will receive the sacred implement posthaste.

paying hundreds of dollars to role play my deepest sexual fantasy, being vored to death by the green m&m

sorry if this is rude or controversial but I just don't like capitalism that much! sorry!

Minecraft is so popular with kids because a child's natural habitat is in a coal mine, actually

favourtoot for the GOP

retoot for the global caliphate

sorry but if the 2020 Dem candidate doesn't post feet pics I'm not voting for them! that's just the way it is!

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of The Birdsite" i holler as i overturn jacks pro-nazi policy and turn Cinco de Mayo into Cinco de Toots

If you join Mastodon you are automatically added to an FBI watchlist, of really cool people to follow

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