Pinned toot

hey does anybody remember that time when I bought a signed print of the Garfield comic where Jon Arbuckle drinks dog cum and Jim Davis had to hire a PR firm and make a statement to Buzzfeed about how it wasn’t actually dog cum (it was)

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*heart swelling with pride* i still think about the first time i got a fingernail under a hunk of dried mucus, lifting as it satisfying peeled away from my nasal wall. i remember how it folded as i rolled it into a ball and flicked it into the hair of the girl that sat in front of me in second grade. *closes eyes* i been a pickin boy ever since

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anyone: *expresses interest in anything at all*

mastodon user: hmm but what if it were gayer

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Old: using CWs

New: you chose to see these posts you fucken chumplord

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calling it the feminine diminutive "corvette" implies the existence of some larger, more masculine "corvus," yes, a great metallic bird of chrome and steel, capable of tool use and construction, its gargantuan wingspan casting a silhouette of the chevrolet logo as it drops a ford f-150 from 1000 feet onto a paved highway to more easily feed on its shattered entrails,

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leftist: tootstorm made up entirely of gibberish that doesn’t explicitly describe the root of their ire so people not following the minute-to-minute minutiae of mastodon political “discourse” can’t even begin to process it

237 boosts

me: farts are the bodies ‘thamk yuo’ for good food

1 like

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no one can explain exactly what it is about the combination of ingredients that alone or in other arrangements cause humans no harm but devastate even the most resilient of intestinal systems once assembled into the simple taco

dave thomas wouldn’t put up with this shit...if he were still here 😭

just getting into moonlighter, very pretty game so far

typical “art” just an excuse for a grown man to draw some bad titties

i know its not amazing or profound art but it’s better than 99% of art i see for auction and honestly i just wanna hang SOMETHING over my toilet and it actually worked with the colors in my bathroom

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i miss the good old days of sims 3 when you'd download some dodgy custom content and then all of your sims, regardless of age or gender would become a centaur with boobs

he named it Clair de Lune because he thought it beautiful as the light off he boyfriend butt,always thinkin bout de bussy!!!😎

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