Pinned toot

hey does anybody remember that time when I bought a signed print of the Garfield comic where Jon Arbuckle drinks dog cum and Jim Davis had to hire a PR firm and make a statement to Buzzfeed about how it wasn’t actually dog cum (it was)

*we’ve secretly replaced nutsling’s twitter app with a mastodon app* damn it sure is gay on here today

welcome to my lewd account *same as the normal account*

sign of a good day: mastodon is mad at me and its not even noon

watching my notifications so closely i can see you initially fav a thing i said and shortly after reconsider your decision

nutsling boosted

I spoke the the soil and it told me that it's time to plant some basil

you: *sputtering breathless takes about some overplayed indie rock bullshit, the same kind you hear in the safeway to lull you into false sense of comfort*

me: cool ill have to check it out 😎 *doesn’t*

so now let’s take a look at the buttplug itself

nutsling boosted

One of the (many) reasons I like the Fedi is that it’s the only place on line that isn’t a fever dream of algorithmically driven content designed to confuse me into clicking an ad.

what if my kink is i love it when you assume my gender

this candidates unelectable but in the end hes fine i hope you had the time of your life 🎵

what if the problem isn’t specifically just men

im easing off my meds and every day is better than the last

things have improved since i filtered ‘gofundme’

a brief history of video games

1980s: 500 games about removing dots from a grid

1990s: an entire genre based on shooting men in in the face and a new type of Moore’s Law where the number of resulting bone fragments you can find on the ground roughly nearby doubles each year

2000s: after years of fumbled attempts and public ridicule, a third attempt to reboot a beloved franchise in 3D by finally learning what works well from others and not really doing anything new and everyone acts surprised

what if the singers from mastodon the band read your toots

rando girl w/ pink hair: “oh my god that outfit looks so good on you!”
my trans friend: “thank you!”
me: “okay so how often does that happen”
my trans friend: “constantly, and always from pink haired girls”
me: “you should ask them for their username on mastodon”

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