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thoughtful reminding my friends to briefly mute me because im about to talk deeply and passionately about something important to me

looking forward to a tomorrow where everything still sucks and nothing works right

have you ever wanted something so bad that your can feel your brain struggle against the strength of the universe stubbornly refusing to bend to your will

imagine explaining to your grandma what toots are

it takes twenty muscles to produce a frown but just two to suck off ya boi

im bringing back calling every new dance a “stomp”

gottabigdick gottabigdick gottabigdick gottabigdick gottabigdiiick

halo more like gaylo because master chief is homo and just posts on mastodon all day and cortana has gained access to new informational databases regarding gender reassignment surgery

Wait! Don’t cum yet! Try the Uber Eats of sex

Old: using CWs

New: you chose to see these posts you fucken chumplord

its not even that good of a joke, its derivative from the valentines day joke, who gives a shit

me: do you have gift ideas for my transitioning friend?

papyrus employee: sure, let me show you to our “new cunt” selection

👏 more 👏 handmaids 👏 of 👏 color

super smash bros. is a game about doing gay orgies, very subversive if you ask me

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