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The Disney character I identify with most is Donald Duck, because like him, I am also a duck who has grotesquely contorted the muscles of my wings, limbs, beak, and throat, so that I can unnaturally immitate human movement and speech

Wacky office quirks, ranked:
1) "meetings about meetings"

2) letting your surplus labor be stolen by an illegitimate corporate dictatorship that can only exist thanks to even worse expoitation of criminally abused workers in the global south.

3) the phrase "as per our discussion"

The most important tradition in straight marriage is "the wearing of the Crocs"

When i was your age we called anime "cartoons", and we didn't have sandwiches yet, we had to eat the meat and bread and cheese separately, and also nobody had invented stairs so we used bedsheets tied together to go up and down floors, and also babies came out fully grown, right out of a giant egg, smoking a pipe and wearing a nice suit!

Terminator 2 would have been a happy movie where everybody just chilled out if it wasn't for that fucking cop

@peptostate i just show up in an earnest discussion and demand to be untagged

Love to interrupt conversations on here by posting JORTS in a reply thread and then blocking everybody I replied to

Nintendo is the company that makes me feel the most nostalgic, so I hope they're the capitalists who ultimately get to kill me.

"On second thought, maybe this is a fucked up and horrible way to reply to a Yugioh joke" - Time-Machine Eugen

I owe my career success to advice I got from a LinkedIn blog by Chuds Bucklet, which said: "the key to a fulfilling career is to take away your boss's property and distribute it to the workers"

I owe my career success to advice I got from a LinkedIn blog by Chuds Bucklet, which said: "the key to a fulfilling career is to take away your boss's property and distribute it to the workers"

@peptostate of all the members of the (pseudo)intellectual dark web, he should be most embarrassed. It’s just naked, embarrassing desperation for attention

My most successful home improvement project was nailing boards over all my vents to keep the Elon Musk fans from getting in

@lynnesbian Anyway now I keep my pics in Google drive so I can do this even at work.

Listening to that Sam Harris podcast where he talks about how Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu taught him the value of doing racism

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