I HAVE FINALLY FIXED MY GITEA ISSUE! \o/
Know what it was?
My JWT_SECRET was 64 chars long and for some harebrained reason the length is important.
So the correct length is… 43 chars? JESUS FUCKING A BLOODY TURD TO DEATH WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS SENSIBLE!? /o\
But hey, https://rnd.phryk.net/ is officially back in business. :)