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We've cleaned the wound and sewed it up, but we like to do some further tests, if you're okay with staying a few hours longer. Nothing to worry about, it's just that we've noticed the above-average number of function keys, and the warping of the space bar has us concerned. Do you have power of attorney? Again, I don't want to alarm you—it's just that we'll need your permission before we do anything invasive. It can make words, but that doesn't mean it's aware.

plsburydoughboy @plsburydoughboy

@aedison I am Major Miria Killian, and I approve of this message