for everyone wondering what the fuck stochastic means and why everyones saying it
it means random
@poopdoggyballs *pushes up glasses* well ACTUALLY
@applebaps seemingly random but not really is something you can get through context
@poopdoggyballs yeah it's like a process that looks random at small scales but as you scale up and out you start to see a pattern. like, locally random, systemically ordered
which is an interesting distinction to draw if you think about it, like, is there even randomness? are all processes secretly stochastic?
@applebaps if you zoom out far enough everything seems planned
its what a lot of schitzophrenics struggle with
@applebaps the world is so large that you can gather enough data to create patterns in anything
its a super interesting thought to have but a really bad 'arguement' (not saying that we're having one, just in general) to have on the internet haha
@applebaps ive sent myself to the hospital over this shit, its a horrible spiral to go down OKAY SORRY FOR RAMBLING
@poopdoggyballs no it's okay it's good to bring that up as well! sorry you had to go through that. i've had some similar struggles but it was more about like getting sucked into occult/magical thinking type stuff. reality just kinda is what it is, some of it is random, some of it seems orderly, and it's not worth getting too invested in trying to understand or sway it one way or the other
@applebaps yeah! i definitely just got too invested in an interest, it turned into a conspiracy, and i lost my mind for about a month
its embarassing to think about now, but it was so so so real when it was happening
@poopdoggyballs i think it's really helpful to spread the word that this kind of thing can happen to literally anyone at any time. we're not all rational supercomputers walking around, human minds are really fragile because of how complex they are
there's not a hard line between "sane" and "insane", and it behooves us all to be careful and compassionate
@poopdoggyballs my brush with crazytown lasted close to 10 years
somehow i was barely able to function in society and like, work jobs and stuff with all these wild ideas bouncing around in my head. but people would routinely tell me they were worried about me or that i just felt off to them somehow
man, if only they knew how gone i was
for me, buddhism saved me. just that acceptance of reality as it is, the paying attention to your own thoughts and emotions in a critical way
@applebaps buddhism rules
my problem was pretending to be normal for years and years and years and trauma catching up with me i think
and im fucking disabled now, but im working through therapy because god i just wanna work again
@poopdoggyballs you can get there. therapy owns! you can do it!
@applebaps for real, i think a lot of mental health stuff isnt permanent, and we're kind of just being pushed in and out of 'insanity' by things that happen in the world around us
i 100 percent agree about the hard line thing, and i think the belief in it is what stops so many from getting help in the first place, because a diagnosis for MH is like a scarlet letter
@poopdoggyballs yeah exactly. people are uncomfortable with the idea of their vulnerability, so like, i totally get it? but by not acknowledging the danger, that doesn't make you safer, it makes you MORE vulnerable
and it's a 100% guarantee that people will suffer more and stay further gone for longer than they need to, when it strikes
it should be like any other illness. hey doc, today i started thinking that the mail had hidden messages in it. can i get some Pill. doctor: oh yeah def
@poopdoggyballs what you said about the impermanence of it is i think one of the MOST important things to realize, too. these things aren't forever, brains can fix themselves
@applebaps can i follow? you seem really cool
@poopdoggyballs of course!
@poopdoggyballs i rep team followback, hope that's ok
@applebaps MAKE MY NUMBERS GO UPPPPP FEEEED MEEE
@poopdoggyballs hey so have you played Hellblade btw
@applebaps i havent even heard of it! it LOOKS really cool but whats it play like
@poopdoggyballs oh wow yeah it's really tough to go through but a really fantastic and cathartic experience
takes about 8 hours to complete if you just sit down and do it in one sitting. with headphones. that's a must.
they did a ton of research and talked to lots of people with schizophrenia and various forms of psychosis
basically it's kinda like an action adventure? you walk around, you fight monsters, you solve puzzles. but it's so much more than that (1/2)
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