I remembered why on #Day3, when I attended a talk on hacking sextoys. That talk was great. It was interesting, it was funny, I had a great time. Until the rape joke.
Sure, having a so-called "secure" systems with all main ports active and detectable is funny. I'm not sure illustrating it with a rape analogy gif was essential, though.
I don't know wether the trigger was the imagery, the analogy, or the fact that 3 000 nerds were laughing about it. What I know is I've been crying continuously for the next 24h, and having nightmares for the past three nights.
Statistics show that 1 women out of 5 has or will experience sexual assault in her life. How many of them do you think end up with a PTSD ?
The relation between rape and the hacking performance of penetrating a so-called secure system seems obvious to "you" : in both cases you identify with the person in a position of power.
That's what we call rape culture. A culture where men find rape funny and empowering, while women learn to fear it as the most humiliating thing they could ever go through.
@ptilou42 Do you think a raised level of awareness regarding triggers might also be a good solution?
I see, how you can argue this to be about power fantasys and dominance. But it can also be explained with carelessnes and a bad taste in humor.
And with segregation, you accieve a community, that is never made aware of the consequences these kind of jokes can have to others and a second community, that constantly lives in fear of the others.
With feedback, you can actually help reduce triggers.
A "bad taste of humor" when it comes to rape jokes if often a "priviledged taste of humor". Since I have published this thread, I have talked with other people who've told me they also felt bad at this moment. It's not just about having a good or bad sense of humor, it's about having a respectful one.
Also, it's a good thing you bring up carelessness : our feminist hackerspace is based on the "ethics of care" from J. Tronto, which is (should be ?) the basics of any feminist ethics.
There has been countless feedback already. (and btw, the CCC has been continuously improving on those topics)
I don't believe women-only or queer-only spaces are a segregation. I think of them as a resourcing place where we can let go of our armor and concentrate on learning and doing stuff. Where we can also maybe get the energy to go back to other places, and do (again) more education.
It's a shame women and queer have to dedicate time and energy to educating straight men in those spaces, when they have the priviledge of dedicating all their time and energy to learning/doing stuff. Because, let's face it, they never take it upon themselves to check what has already been explained before.
Also, le Reset is a queer feminist hackerspace... but we're still open to everyone as long as they comply with our CoC.
@ptilou42 Okay some context: altough i personally wouldn't call myself a "neurotypical" "straight" "male" anymore right now, most people will think of me this way and treat me as one so I'd say I'm still 80-90% qualified to speak from this perspective.
And i have not experienced a single project without any kind of conflict, that "wasted" time and energy or any kind of accidental harm done by one party to another.
So I'm really not shure about the existence of this privilege.
I was there, I laughed about the portscan joke and it didn't come to my mind it was about rape. I am sorry this happend to you and I hope future talks will be more thoughtful regarding those kind of trigger-sensitive topics so fewer people have to go trough, what you've experienced.
But I am not shure about your solution to the problem...
@ptilou42 please also post your experience to the official fahrplan feedback system: https://frab.cccv.de/en/35c3/public/events/9523/feedback/new
Server run by the main developers of the project It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!